Posted by Dima on July 31, 2010, at 10:52:36
Hi. I'm 19 years old. I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. Mildly depressed, at least. In January of 2010, I sunk into a much deeper depression. I had to leave college early because I lost the ability to focus on anything.
I've tried Paxil, which made me extremely tired the first time I took it for three days. I took it again recently for a week or two, with no effect. My doctor stopped it because I'm on Celexa as well.
I tried Wellbutrin for a month and it gave me a lump sensation in my throat and later caused a feeling similar to akathisia. No benefits, though.
I tried Zoloft for a month and a half, with no benefit, only brain zap withdrawal symptoms.
I tried Nortriptyline for about two weeks, and it also gave me a general body anxiety feeling like Wellbutrin.
I tried Effexor for two months, with no benefit.
Currently, I'm on trazadone for sleep for two months now. No antidepressant effect.
I'm also on Remeron for five weeks with no antidepressant effect.
I'm also on Celexa for about a month, with no antidepressant effect.
Most recently, I tried Abilify. The first time I took 5 mg, I got hiccups that didn't go away for a couple hours. The next few days I had slightly more energy, though. After a week, I tried "loading" Abilify with 20 mg, as I saw a post on here that mentioned that loading might help. The next morning I took 5 mg. The rest of the day, I felt what I guess is akathisia. It was one of the worst things I've ever felt. The next day, which was yesterday, the feeling was still there, so I went to the hospital. First they gave me IM Benadryl, which only made me a little more tired. Then I got 1 mg Cogentin, which took away some of the suffering, but not all. I suggested Propranolol, but the doctor said that's only for high heart rate. I'm pretty much back to normal now.
Anyway, after seeing what akathisia is like, I realized that the feeling is kind of an extreme version of what I always feel like. I always just want to move. Any time I get even a little bit of energy, I try to do as much as possible. Also, people describe the feeling as indescribable. That's what my depression is like. It's no sadness. I hardly even remember what sadness is like. I just have pretty much no emotion except for irritability. Also, I can only describe the feeling as "bad" because I don't even understand fully what I feel like.
Adderall is the only drug I've had that makes me feel really good. I'm pretty sure I haven't grown a tolerance since I very rarely use it, but it seems the effects these days are very short lived, followed by the restless akathisia feeling.
Any suggestions? I was thinking of trying Parnate after this Remeron, Celexa combination. If I get more energy from my recent dosing of Abilify, I may try that again at a 2.5 mg or 5 mg daily dose.
Could it be that my depression isn't just normal depression? Maybe BPD?
poster:Dima
thread:956554
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100731/msgs/956554.html