Posted by morgan miller on July 30, 2010, at 4:04:06
In reply to Re: Racing/Anxiety Thoughts, Need Opinion + Meds » morgan miller, posted by cycling on July 30, 2010, at 3:14:51
> Don't be sorry, you are like a godsend right now helping me out with this and trying to figure it out. So I just took an online mental screening test through my psychologist website testing for bipolar and general anxiety disorder. (specialtybehavioralhealth.com/mental-health-test)
> According to the tests, I did not have Bipolar but I did have GAD. Now I don't know how accurate those tests are, but my psychologists uses it on his website so that has to mean something. So let me extend my experience.
> I started college and starting experiencing OCD and its manifestations... doubting everything from sexuality to my relationships with friends. I came quite paranoid. I experimented with marijuana and even dabbled with cocaine a few times but that was it. The bad part was that I was a heavy drinker.. about 30 drinks/wk for a long period of time. I'd take the summers off, but during school year, almost every weekend was that. When I first came to my psychiatrist I was alll wound up, so he put me on lithium and that took the edge off, but didn't do ANYTHING for my thoughts. I still had so many thoughts going through my head that I had trouble concnetrationg and my short term memory sucked. To stop the racing thoughts he's put me on Lamictal-that didn't work (weaning off now). Then he tried seroquel (I've seen a little bit of improvement). He also gave me Klonopin which I started a day ago, which I intend to take every other day to see how that works out. I've started therapy today, and honestly, after just one day, I feel better already. I've been exercising daily, and ready to get done with these thoughts that's holding be back to fully enjoying the life I used to have - a life with confidence. I'm sick and tired of this and I'm doing everything in my will to get over this. I'm cool with a low dose of lithium, but these hard a$$ drugs I don't think is for me. I want to try an ssri and see what happens. My doctor didn't give me an ssri at first because he thought that'd make the "mania" even worse. He attributed my racing thoughts as mania. Now, don't get me wrong, I have alot of energy. I've been energetic guy all my life. I thought I just was hyper, my mom was hyper and we always joked I took after my mom. My father has OCD for sure. I still feel like I'm not "calm." I often have problems loosing my temper and irritable sometimes. I feel sometimes that I'm in this constant state of fear and hte littlest things I'll react to, even if my fly wizzes by I flinch. I hate it, I feel like a wimp...also, i'm 23. so what do you think?I still think you may have a bipolar predisposition. You sound a lot like me in college. I may have taken drinking to an even greater extreme though putting down 20 drinks in just a night sometimes, my tolerance was rediculous(sh*t I did this on and off into my late 30s. Had tons of fun but it was not good for me in the long run).
You're not a wimp, dude, you're just on edge. I think it's great that you are exercising and seeing a therapist-two of the best things you could be doing for yourself in the long run.
Psychiatrists are a little too cautious about using SSRIs for people that may fall under the bipolar spectrum, IMHO. But you can't really blame them, after seeing how so many people have been sent into mania on SSRIs and other ADs. I still think it is worth taking the risk in some cases. Better to live and feel alive and function well on an SSRI than some of these other mind numbing drugs they hand out like freakin candy.
I think it might be worth revisiting lithium at a low dose, maybe 150 to 300 mg of Lithobid, the extended release version. If you can, you may want to order some lithium orotate(I think NOW has a good one) off the internet and try taking a few of those everyday, may be worth a shot.
I say try Prozac or Zoloft, especially if you add a little Lithium. I would do this before resorting to Zyprexa. Just pay attention to what is going on with you and your behavior when or if you start to feel better on Prozac or Zoloft. If you are on the high energy kinda wacky happy all the time side of things this may be a further indication of bipolar.
I would try to use Klonopin on just an as needed basis when things are really bad. You just don't want to get hooked on a benzo, that's the last thing you need. Besides, your brain is still finishing up some fine tuning, completing the final touches on myelination amongst other things. I have no idea if Klonopin would interfere with this or not, but long term benzodiazepine use has been associated with possible brain damage and cognitive issues. Then again, there are many psychiatric drugs that are thought to possibly alter the brain in a negative way. Don't let that scare you away from starting some kind of treatment though. The stress your brain is under right now can potentially do damage and cause unwanted alterations as well, maybe more than the right treatment will. So you definitely want to do something to try to get you back to feeling well again. I know, this is starting to sound a bit sticky, well, it is.
Dude, believe me, you want to be open minded to the possibility of some type of bipolar, it will empower you to protect yourself and prevent a possible devastating major episode in the future. I would talk to your therapist about it. On that note, keep in mind that you most likely do have something going on in your subconscious that is contributing to all of this. Whatever these subconscious complex emotional issues may be, they are rooted in whatever occurred during your development. And, these things could be contributing to triggering any predisposition you may have, whether it be bipolar, OCD, anxiety, depression, or all of the above. Often you will realize that many of your symptoms and behaviors(OCD, Bipolar, Anxiety) are manifestations of underlying depression. This is why it is so important that you stick with therapy and nip some things in the but while you are young. You may find that you will have to return to therapy once or twice and find a new therapist for whatever reason down the road. Just keep this in mind.
My old therapist once told me that her professor described mania(Remember mania can manifest in different forms, not just the classic form that we are all accustomed to hearing about)as a flight from reality. So any racing thoughts, OCD, high energy, unusually high confidence, lack of sleep or lack of the need for sleep, may be reactions to(flights from) the ugly and scary reality that is inside you or around you or both. This reality may be underlying sadness/depression and/or anger. It's very complicated.
Morgan
poster:morgan miller
thread:956333
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100720/msgs/956429.html