Posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 12:56:32
In reply to Re: Trileptal, why do you do this to me?, posted by qbsbrown on April 4, 2010, at 12:42:31
And i believe it was one year ago, when i think i realzied the drugs were my problem. just on trileptal and valium, i began DOING things, exercising, hanging with friends, getting ready to leave the country, doing so many things i was not doing. Until an infamous day when the part of the trileptal, the part where it makes me depressed/irritable and would get racing thoughts, and i saw some weird existential angst ugly things, when i decided to drop it, and was left in benzo CT. But i had a life, i could wake up, and there was a day, and progression, go to the gym, hang with friends, go to the zen center etc, and to now what my days and mornings are like, especially with memories of sanity, and what "normal" days felt like, the progression of the day, and the events of them, this is TOO much to swallow, not to mention the severe severe psychotic phenomenea that i've experienced by putting myself through a cold turkey.
How I ever get a semi-normal life again from this state, i don't know how it is possible. A phoenix rising from the ashes? I try, i am doing more things with people than ever. But it doesn't change a lot of what i've experienced, although mind you, much has improved. I can actually see the present moment!!
poster:qbsbrown
thread:941095
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100328/msgs/942151.html