Posted by Barney on April 30, 2009, at 17:30:08
In reply to Re: Poop out remedies - success stories, posted by floatingbridge on April 29, 2009, at 20:57:12
Hi,
I hit rock bottom.
I never experienced major depression; it was always a severe form of dysthymia.
It drove me insane, I was like a person in solitary confinement.
Even negative feelings seemed better at times than the *lack* of feelings I experienced for years on end.
I am not 100% recovered yet.
My social skills are impared because the illness reduces your ability to spot social and emotional cues when interacting with other people.I sometimes felt like a deafman who used to be able to hear. In such circumstances they can continue to speak, even if they cannot hear, however, this power is eroded and distorted overtime as they begin to forget what the human voice sounded like. It felt like that with my emotions.
The worst part was at the beginning.
First, the drugs worked and I leaped forward, had great experiences, however, the drugs began to *poop out.* I walked into a nightmare with memories and experiences I want to forget.The onset of the illness was particularly bad because I had had such a postitive experience with SSRISs - it was as if a light had been switched on and I could see and feel for the first time in my entire life. But then poop out happened, and I went from feeling alive to feeling nothing. It was indescribable horror. Horror. A howling greyness that bleached my mind.
Anyhow, I am currently not on any meds, my life hit rock bottom. When I was at my lowest I realised I could not continue with my original career. I realised I couldnt wait until I got better to put myself in a postion where I could have a good life. I had to start, slowly, VERY slowly, when I was ill - so I would be able to continue with my life when I "woke up". I sat and thought about possible careers. Some careers are stronly impared by depression, e.g. IT, accountancy, etc. So I decided to try medicine. I went to night school and surprised myself by slowly getting good at science.
It has been a nightmare and I have experienced pain and humiliations that I try not to think about.
I read up about depression.
I read other peoples accounts of their experiences, including coming though it. This was very cathartic. Especially when I had nobody to talk to about it.
I had a goal and never quit.
It has kept me focused for the past seven years.
It has kept me alive and and it has kept me going forward.To regain my health I know I need to have effective SSRIs. This is why finding information about "poop out" is so important.
I have TRD, however, most of the research seems to focus on those who havn't responded at all to meds, or only partly. No research seems to be underway into those who initially responded to meds, but the effectiveness wore off.The current rate of research into depression is impressive, google "pubmed" and search "depression", every other day there are new research papers on depression. Incredible.
However, nothing on "poop out".
poster:Barney
thread:893083
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090426/msgs/893617.html