Posted by Fivefires on April 9, 2009, at 11:52:37
In reply to Re: 2SICK 2LONG THEY WANNA PULL PLUG, posted by SLS on April 8, 2009, at 8:00:01
Sorry S, really hard for me to keep up w/ anything. I understand this may be so true. I sometimes wish it were a physical illness that would go into remission at times and then return, so maybe they'd 'see' it, but yes, in earlier yrs more came to my aid than now. And, if they are as burnt-out as I, I've got to turn to the professionals more than to the ones I love, but it is so hard. This day my agoraphobia is sky-high and in order to get to a pcp appt I have to take a van. I'll wish I had a mask on! Really. I'll prob' freak out if there is a stop to p/u an elderly person moving at a snail's pace, wanting to jump out and have a cigarette! I don't think I can do this. But I have no choice as my dang back pain med cannot be called to the pharmacy. I want so badly to go to a treatment ctr in my state which has a program for dual, pain and mental health. But, I'm sorta' frozen. I was going to right what I would ask my PCP to write in the request for the one time out of network authorization, but all my thoughts and reasons escape me and all I want to do is crawl back into bed. What is this? How did this get so out of hand? Why am I unable to clean my house or eat or ... seriously I don't understand what is wrong with me. I know there is a lot of anxiety and this agoraphobia. I don't know that I feel a lot of depression, but maybe I'm not recognizing it. It's like something has happened to me w/o reason that I can recall. I keep thinking possibly I've had some sort of seizure in my brain. Idk. It's my understanding only a CT brain would show this. Is this true? But, will my pdoc write for it? Shall I ask my case manager? I'm not unable to communicate or having anything abnormal such as voices or visions or psychosis or ideation or thoughts of hurting another. Idk what happened.
I was going to mention to one person here that my thyroid tests came back abnormal and I was changed to Armour vs. levothyroxine, but at first my ins. wouldn't pay for Armour, then they would. When it was picked up for me, both were given to me. So, a few days I took both. It seemed like I felt better those couple days. I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to do so, so stopped taking the levo and stayed just w/ the Armour. But, I kind of wonder why it was I was feeling sort of better when taking both. Just a thought to share if anyone has a POV.
Wish someone was here w/ me, ya' know, to help me clean up the house a little and to talk to, to have coffee with, to go places together. Maybe it's a lot about this, this lonely isolation.
tks S, 5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:886733
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090408/msgs/889644.html