Posted by Cseagraves on February 15, 2009, at 20:19:22
In reply to Suicidal, please help!!, posted by G-man885858 on January 31, 2009, at 0:22:56
G-man,
Hi there!
Read all the post regarding your thread. I so understand everything you are going through. Same as you, I cannot take anything else. I have been through almost every ssri, tca's and then last week gave in to taking an maoi. They may work well for others, but as usual, my body had a severe reaction to the med (Marplan). Out of all the meds I have taken which, I have had awful reactions to, after my 4th day on Marplan I just wanted to die. I don't mean suicidal but I just felt that if I died, it would be better. Pdoc immediately took me off.
That's not the kind of person I am and that is not how I think. I have never felt that way before. Life to me has always been a gift and worth battling this condition.
I have hit my wall and decided that I am just done with most all of this. I have severe gad and agoraphobia, which most of the ppls here know because I have been seeking advice about meds and treatments for quite a while.
I understand that everyone's system is different and how our bodies respond to these meds is different. I am to the point that I don't believe I have a chemical imbalance and that is why my body responds the way it does to the meds. I believe that I have a thought processing problem.
All I know is that for me, I can't do this anymore. I am physically, mentally and emotionally worn out. I can't handle the ups and downs, the feeling nauseous, the insominia and worry.
I have not had this condition since I was young, nor have I been battling this most of my life. It only came on slowly over the last 5 years and I did not become agoraphobic up until this last year.
I have had several evaulations from therapists and to sum it all up my stress levels hit their peaks. Yes, I had an abusive childhood and as a teenager until I could get away from my father. I had an abusive first husband, but was always considered the strong one in the family and the one everyone could lean on.
Then from the ages of 35 to 40 I had some more extremely stressful situations hit and I guess my body just finally broke down. When I was tested, my cortisol levels were through the roof, my dhea was extremely high, my testosterone was high and I had literally no estrogen or progesterone. My adrenals were in total fatigue and over stressed. My body was also deficient in Vitamin D and calcium (which caused me to develop osteoporosis) although I have always been very athletic.
I guess you could say that my body was and is rejecting everything.
I am not recommending this to you because when it comes to how you feel and how you want to handle it, it is definately a personal choice that only you can make.
For me, I have decided to take a different path. Since I know that the only meds my body can handle at very low dosages are zanax and remeron, I am going to use them in combination with intensive CBT.
From what I have read, if successful, the remission rate is higher using CBT than using any type of med for my condition.
I used this week to speak with several psychologist who specialize with severe anxiety and agoraphobia. Many say they do, but I wanted to find someone who didn't use the old standard desensitation methods. I wanted someone who really knows what the hell they are doing.
I also had to come to the understanding myself that the harder I try to control this condition, the worse and harder it is going to be to get past it. I know that with alot of work and determination, this is curable. Going through this process can't be any worse than what I go through everytime I try a new med. So as of right now, what I am doing for me is:
CBT (finding a good therapist is the key)
I have always kept a healthy diet, but I am fine tuning it even more.
Drinking whey protein regularly
Taking my aminos regularly (I use Chlorella. Ingredients in this supplement also help with adrenal fatigue. You can find it at www.JadeChlorella.com.
Taking more Gaba (the brains natural calming agent), L-theanine (promotes relaxation and calmness), Phosphatidyl Serine (supports and repairs nervous system), L-taurine (metabolic transmitter - can help people who suffer from manic depression),Olive leaf extract (to many health benefits to list, so you may want to look that one up), Choline (stimulatory neurotransmitter). If you can, find someone around you that uses "Standard Process Supplements" try to get them. You can find them usually through a nutritionist or google them to find a distributor in your area. They are great because they are pure whole supplements. They also have other supplements that help with adrenal fatigue and I will swear by them.
Meditation at least twice a day. I'm sure there are several people here who have heard this one and probably some who have tried it, but the key is that you have to commit to it.I have been meditating at least twice a day for the last week and it has helped tremendously. I am also going to tomorrow to see someone who specializes in Reiki. Sounds wonderful, so its worth a shot.
I wish I had tried this approach years ago before getting caught up in this never ending cycle of meds. This last year has been awful and for me, I think it all started when a pdoc misdiagonosed me and put me on Seroquel. I haven't been the same since.
Please know to all who may read this post, that I am not trying to say that the methods and ways that you are trying to help yourselves is wrong. If it is working for you, then I am so happy that you have been able to find something that works and makes you feel better. For me, the meds just do not work.
And who knows, this may not work for me either, but as of right now, it's all I have left. Please be kind as I cannot deal with alot of negative feedback at this point. I just want to get better and I hope G-man that you find a way for yourself also.
Never give up. One way or another, you will find a way to fix this. Everyone here is very informative, helpful, supportive and most of all caring, which goes a long way.
Love and support to all of you!
Courtney :-)
poster:Cseagraves
thread:877295
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090213/msgs/880366.html