Posted by Racer on December 13, 2008, at 20:23:17
In reply to Re: A moral debate, if a person is handicapped?, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on December 9, 2008, at 0:50:51
> No one, here understands it
Is it possible, do you think, that perhaps your perspective is a little bit distorted?
You've said before that no one understands -- and that's true, in the sense that no one can completely understand what another is experiencing. In the looser sense, that no one here understands that you are in a difficult situation, can't see a way out, and are experiencing a great deal of pain -- well, I think your perspective might be distorted.
I realize that I'm probably the person here you believe understands you the least -- which I happen to believe is an example of that hypothesized distortion, by the way -- but I'm going to make a few observations. I hope that they may be helpful to you at some point.
These are only my impressions, and I wish to be the very first to point out that I am incapable of reading anything at all without bring along my own set of biases. In other words, I'm not saying there's any accuracy about these -- I'm just giving you feedback from one reader's perspective.
1. In all of your posts, I don't recall I've ever seen you describe any behavioral changes you've tried towards improving your condition.
2. In your posts about medications, I haven't gotten the sense that you're willing to give alternate medications a fair trial. It may be that I'm biased in my reading, but I haven't seen anything that looked like optimism about other medications your doctor was discussing.
3. When I read your posts about your mother, I can certainly see that the two of you have a very difficult relationship, to put it very, very mildly. I just get a sense that you believe that she would need to change for anything to improve. My experience has taught me that sometimes if I make an effort to consider my reactions to certain family members, their behavior towards me improves, too.
4. When I read your posts, it almost seems to me as though you are diagnosing yourself with new conditions -- currently, it sounds as though you have diagnosed yourself with DID, for example. Yet, I think you said you've never mentioned any of this to your treatment team? It don't remember you referring to any of your psychologically healthy aspects? And you know what? I strongly believe we all have areas of mental health -- even at our sickest. It seems as though it would be more productive to stretch towards mental health.
I guess I reacted to reading "no one here understands," which I understood to include no one here can offer any help, by feeling hurt.
Note, please: YOU did not MAKE me feel hurt. No one can make me feel anything -- I am responsible for my emotional reactions, no matter what anyone else does. That doesn't mean that I can control them, by the way -- it only means that they are MY reactions. I alone am responsible for how I choose to handle those reactions, whether I go with my old, maladaptive patterns, or try to use healthier coping strategies.
I wish you the very best, and I hope you find what you are looking for. If I had any influence, I would suggest finding a therapist who could work with you more effectively than it seems your current therapist may be able to. (And you've never mentioned whether this might be pastoral counseling? Or a more formal sort?)
poster:Racer
thread:867652
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20081204/msgs/868598.html