Posted by Fivefires on July 15, 2008, at 13:02:51
In reply to Re: California Rocket Fuel +, posted by SLS on July 14, 2008, at 17:32:06
> Sorry, I thought you had made up your mind to not try Remeron. Why not give it a try?>
I haven't made up my mind 'which' to try. I learned that Remeron, if not at high enough dose, causes fatigue, and this is a big problem for me.
> What do you suppose would happen if you switched over from Xanax to Klonopin?>
Did you happen to read my description of a 'nervous breakdown in 2005'? I know the two words are not a diagnosis, but my nervous system shut down, couldn't walk w/o holding onto something, hyperventilating all the time awake, BP drops to near pass out, hospitalized, put on Valium and brought back to life. Just prior to this I'd been on Klonopin. Unfamiliar w/ 'really how strong it is' because I couldn't 'feel it' like I can Xanax or Valium, when the pdoc cold-turkeyed 4wks before this happened, I didn't disagree. Sometimes while inpatient pdoc would forget to sign off on my meds so until they reached him the nurses couldn't give me Valium at scheduled times. At these times, I'd feel pressure on the top of my head, and, one time, just once, I became paranoid, thought everyone looking at me, talking about me. Having some medical background I talked my way through it constantly repeating to myself 'no you're just imagining it' until the doc called and they gave me the Valium. Then, when I saw the floor going out from under me, screamed for help, the staff began to pay attention to why I was there.(?) I'd prefer to be on Klonopin and Xanax prn, but pdoc refuses to prescribe two(2) benzos. Tho', I'm on Xanax-XR 1mg a.m. and Xanax 2mg 3-4x a day.(?)
After the above experience, I'm way adamate my nervous system is well-covered. Is Klonopin stronger than Xanax? This would be the only way I'd agree. I know of a woman who takes Klonopin and then Xanax prn, and does very well on this.
> Have you ever talked about using Buspar?>Tried in past and didn't alleviate anxiety.
> I wouldn't want to shove it down your throat just yet, but you might be a responder to Nardil. Nardil is a broad spectrum psychotropic that treats depression, generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), social anxiety disorder and OCD to name a few. You might have GAD. This would explain the panic attacks.>
I just finished a try of it. Because the initial side effects were hard; and I'm alone, and even phone calls are often not returned from pdoc office, I asked to go inpatient so could adjust to it w/ some assistance, but pdoc said no. I was disappointed because I think I began to feel a bit 'like my old self', 'reacting properly to situations, social or emotional or cognitive, ya' know? But, physically I needed some assistance. I hated to stop it, but had no choice as the initial side effects were too harsh w/o some support. I'm 5'5" and now down to 108lbs, but, because don't have a lot of fat and am a fast metabolizer, seem to require MORE, not LESS medication. Anyway, while here and taking it, I felt my heart rate going all over the place. I even called 911 and 8 big guys stood around me and said, 'you know if you go to the ER, they'll just send you home'. The last prob' 5x I've been to an ER here this 'has' happened. I was and am angered at this feeling 'I'm not worthy of professional care'. Almost filed a complaint, but had done once in another county and was just shunned by all in clinic. I've done my fair share of trying to right wrongs in my life. One daughter says it's time for me to think about myself. Pdoc said only suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic patients qualify for inpatient. It would be very hard for me to switch from the 'supposedly best pdoc here' to another right now. I'm not going to see my T here anymore, as our relationship is uncomfortable. Last saw she sat with arms crossed in a defensive manner. The initial empathy I felt from her went away when I said 'no doc has ever dx'd me borderline and to tell me I am and nothing will ever help me is wayyy wrong'. I'm afraid my pdoc is of the same opinion but doesn't speak of it. I think this is wrong. The first time I'd ever even heard of it, was from a case manager who said, 'have you ever been dx'd borderline (I think I've already told you this! Sorry!) Financially, I'm just above the poverty level so I'm NOT entitled to the free health care to those who receive $30 less than I a month and can see practically one. I'm in the grey area - too much for help, too little to pay out of pocket for help. And, unfortunately, my support is limited to my children. After father passed away now 4yrs, the rest of my fam' of origin sorta' went w/ him; currently calling me 'exhausting'. Siblings have security/partners and mother financially well-to-do. I, with my Dad, were very kindred, and wonder this is why I've sort of been ostracized now. Ya' know, you had the most of him while he was here; now you get nothing. Our home there was sold. My home here was sold so another could build another home, and I was sort of moved .. to a very isolated area which is way not good for me. All I knew, all of my life, but my children, *gone*.
A year later I had the not-a-real-dx 'nervous breakdown'. I'd been dc'd w/o titration from Klonopin (Thought I'd said something here, but don't see it on quick look-over. Anyway, because I'd been used to Xanax, Valium, even Librium, Klonopin didn't 'feel strong' to me, so this is why I didn't object to the cold turkey.) and at the same time I'd been asked to remove my things from a storage bldg back home, another state; which hit me hard. I'd been told this storage bldg was being kept to 'keep the family together'.
Another unfunny; I find myself wondering if people truly can die from a broken heart. Unplug the love and what is left - I dunno - always bounced back from losses in past - not this time. I cannot keep food in my body. Spirit (I'd always been high-spirited and had a strong personality.) nil to none now. Even children, who used to enjoy being w/ me, don't come over unless I specifically ask or there is a holiday. Dunno. Googled it once and just got confusing silly stories; nothng serious.
But, no Scott, Remeron, nortriptyline, and Wellbutrin, all three balls in the air, not sure which one might help Eff-XR flip my switch back to 'on'. Surprised I'm tolerating the 300mg okay this nearly midday. Can't complain much about the hot, then freezing, feels. Hope will abate. Eff-XR, is the only psych med which has ever been effective. (Well, didn't get a chance w/ Nardil really.) Why didn't I stay on it before? Becaue I got scared when it was time to go to 300mg! Afraid of brain damage. o_o I began to disdain that long long thread about it.
My fam has told me they'll not help me $ wise, just in case you are wondering.
Just went to Eff-XR 300mg this a.m. (repeating self huh?), but waited until AFTER losing every bit of nourishment I'd put into my body yesterday, upon awakening. Could be from Provigil.(?)
> - Scott>
Appreciate you keeping in touch and sharing your education and/or experiences.
5f
poster:Fivefires
thread:265743
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080706/msgs/839852.html