Posted by your#1fan on February 9, 2008, at 1:01:30
Hey guys, its fan.
Im off deplin because it was too expensive. Well Prozac is still very vital too me, its the best. Alot of other antidepressants, Zoloft increased my energy to end it. Usally if im not on any antidepressant, im just sad and low on energy. Zoloft gave me many thoughts, that i didnt like. Prozac is the opposite, it gives me energy and gives me life....
Umm....... well i have been having alot stuff going on in life right now, um alot of paranoia, no im not schizophrenic, i already had that checked. I just have thoughts that haunt me, and i cant even function. Im still under control of my parents even thought im 20, i need to move...very soon. But i need to know how to cope on my own in an apartment, not flip out and scare the neighbors! ROFL!!
I know i havent been responding to my posts but i read them. Im seeing on-campus counselors who have taken the place of a cousulor. But i cant relly too much on someone when i flip out, i have to talk to myself. I have alot of coping mechanism, persona's i put that im perfectly fine, when really inside i know im dying. Really i never knew when i was a kid, or a teenager how to cope, so i made some coping mechanisms up. And today im a pretty strong person.
I have paranoia what is going to happen? fear.... im scared. Im scared if i did something wrong...something terrible will happen (why? because terrible things do happen....my life is scattered, my mother is a control freak and at the same time my enenemy but she wants me out of the house) I've lost 2 phones, a very expensive jacket someone stole, leaving my keys in the car, there just so many simple life things that kill me.
Having a therpist will not help, because i cant call him/her everytime im having a breakdown. First of all, my psychitrist doesnt return my phone calls! because of my mother!
I mean, just life, i have to almost have imaingary friends that help me (even though i do have many real friends and aquatanices, some of them think im just a bit nervous...ya think?) i mean i have no one to talk to about normal living.
Im very normal in my appereance, the way i function, everything, i would say im pretty good looking too, but life is just a hardache for me.
Well, i bet your a bit tired by now, so just keep fan in your thoughts.
i'll take care of myself. and you take care too.
Your#1fan
poster:your#1fan
thread:811646
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080207/msgs/811646.html