Posted by girlnterrupted78 on July 24, 2007, at 21:31:52
In reply to Re: After Nardil has failed, what else is there? » Girlnterrupted78, posted by FredPotter on July 24, 2007, at 16:11:47
Thanks for your response, Fred.
Well, that's impressive. I could never address an audience or play the piano (I've had to do both in the past, and it was pretty painful.) I used to play the piano as an adolescent, and I remember forgetting one song in my recital and god knows what I did to continue with the rest. As for speaking in public--I will avoid it at all costs. I will never be able to do those things.
My main issue is an inability to become involved emotionally or in groups. I loved being around groups when I was on Celexa (the only AD that ever worked for me.)
I could be loud and make jokes and all that goes along with being "normal." Now I prefer to be on my own 99% of the time and I'm never in the mood to go out and have fun. People from work keep asking me to join them in going to a bar, and I refuse every time because I'm too afraid that the depression will come out and it will be a traumatic event. I'm also never in the mood to get emotionally involved with anyone because I'm too afraid that my depression/SA will destroy the balance--and that would be so hard to overcome, that I'd rather not even try in my current situation.
So I guess I can call myself disabled. It's a disability that the majority of people don't know about, and they think of it as being weird/awkward/anti-social, etc. Just bad adjectives to call you, which again, makes depression even worse. It's a terrible cycle that can't be stopped.
Thanks a lot for your input,
GI78
poster:girlnterrupted78
thread:771640
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070719/msgs/771761.html