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Re: VNS + Anhedonia » headcheese01

Posted by Babak on July 15, 2007, at 23:33:39

In reply to Re: VNS + Anhedonia, posted by headcheese01 on July 15, 2007, at 21:04:56

How do you charaterize your depression.
I am interested to know because the whole nature of my depression changed four years ago.
I am not saying that before I was full of vitality but since then I have had to redefine depression and anhedonia to myself.
I have no interest in sex, food, keeping myself clean, reading or getting out of bed, working has been totally out of question. I am bed ridden by anhedonia. I never thought human spirit can go down that far. I don't even think my health carers quite appriciated the extent of my anhedonia. My mind is gradually shutting down.
The only thing which gets me kind of better for a short while is opiates.

I have managed not to get quite "hooked" but I take heroine about once a week just to be able to do what is absolutly necessary. I call it coming up for air.

Is anyone out there who is this bad. I have no life, I just exist. If I could feel any emotions I am sure I would kill myself but I don't even feel that.


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