Posted by JerryPharmStudent on May 10, 2007, at 7:13:34
I'm...barely hanging on. So many thing on my mind - creditors calling, finacial problems, love life problems ( = no love life). I've accepted the fact I will be alone until then end of my life.
I sit on my couch daily just wanting to sleep to escape because to be awake is too painful. I hear people outside walking by and enjoying life and the weather. I have no joy.
I'm tired of trying to find the right pdoc, the right drug...everything.
You people are the ONLY people in my life who listen and understand what I am going through. If only I had that in real life. But as history has shown - It hasn't and won't happen.
The aching in my heart is tremendous...my eyes welling up with tears.
WHY do I keep myself alive??? I don't get it? 15 years of pain. And now all I want to do is sleep and avoid life/reality which is like being dead anyway.
I'm not going to commit suicide. And I'm not going to a hospital. I'm done with it.
Just could someone talk to me?
In pain.....
Jerry
poster:JerryPharmStudent
thread:757358
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070509/msgs/757358.html