Posted by Racer on March 29, 2007, at 12:19:58
In reply to Re: Who is currently in REMISSION??Questions, posted by notfred on March 29, 2007, at 11:13:30
Let's see, I've been in remission now for going on two weeks, so I can't say what it's like longer term. What I can say, though, is that this is different from anything I've felt in the past few years. I've thought I was "better" a few times, but now that I feel like this, I can see I was just controlling the worst of the depression. It was there, but controlled enough I could function.
Dx: Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety Disorder (either GAD or AD-NOS, depending on the pdoc), Anorexia Nervosa, and {ahem} "Obsessive Compulsive Personality Traits." Not full blown OCPD, but it's probably close enough for government work. I also have a few physical issues, like joint problems, which contribute to stress. Chronic pain isn't good for mood, ya know?
What does this feel like? I'm not happy, per se. I'm just having normal variations, and handling frustrations and stressors much better. The other day, driving home from my mother's, I was stuck in traffic. It took more than two hours to get home, and I had to pee the whole time. I was annoyed, and certainly wished I'd gone to the bathroom before starting home, but I was really pretty OK about it. I was happier when Poet called me, and I had someone to chatter with, but even alone it wasn't so bad. (My car radio conked out some time ago, so no NPR, no music.) I'm having a long running anxiety attack right now, from something that happened yesterday, but even that isn't nearly as bad as it would have been two weeks ago. I'm able to do other things, with this anxiety in the background. For me, that's amazing. I'm not as productive as I'd like to be, but even so, I'm not wasting nearly as much energy as I normally do in beating myself up about it. I'm amazed at how relaxed my stomach is, it's not something I'm used to.
Of course, I am also freaked out beyond belief that I'm going to get fat, and I'm upset by how much I'm eating, but those are things that I don't think any medication will do much about.
As well as meds, I'm also in therapy. I see my therapist -- psychodynamic -- weekly, my husband and I see a marriage counselor (we're starting every other week, after doing weekly for about a year), and I've got group therapy for the AN twice a month.
I think that's it. Mood, on a scale of 1 - 10? I'm not positively happy, because that's not what remission is. I'd say I'm about 7 or 8 -- I'm in the range of what I consider normal: I'm not paralysed by worry, I'm not crying, I'm not feeling hopeless, I'm just feeling a sort of capable calm. I guess. I don't feel like the worst loser on the planet, nor the most pathetic human being who's ever lived. I don't feel like the most successful person, but then -- I'm not. And I still have some of the sense of not knowing how to address certain issues, but at least now I can think of maybe doing what I can think of to do, instead of freaking out so much I can't even do that.
I don't know if that's what you're looking for. It's the best I can do right now, but I'd be glad to answer other questions if you have any.
poster:Racer
thread:745050
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070327/msgs/745177.html