Posted by Lindenblüte on October 31, 2006, at 17:32:42
In reply to Re: Trying Emsam. » Lindenblüte, posted by SLS on October 31, 2006, at 14:56:22
> Hi Li.
Hey Scott,
> > changing meds makes me feel things too. Can you try and give it a week?
>
> I'll try. Right at this exact moment, I'm not feeling so bad that I would have to abort the trial.Okay, well that's good. you hang in there. Treat yourself extra kindly, okay?
> > I really hope that this is just a temporary side effect that will fade.
>
> The thing is, how long is long enough? How long do you put yourself through hell to wait for untoward effects to disappear in the hopes for a big pay-off?AD is not a big payoff. it's a very slowly accumulating pile of quarters. You play the slot machine that is hopefully rigged in your favor. After a week or three, you look down, and there's a pile of quarters in the tray, so you keep playing, and after a while you realize that it's been a couple of days since you lost money.
Depression is an insidious illness. It creeps up on you, if you're not watching out. Well, it has to creep off too. I wish AD were as immediate and fast acting as a stimulant, or a beta blocker, or one those other hundred classes of drug that you are so clever knowing :)
You gotta regenerate some neurons and synapses. Takes time. Takes sleep. Takes amino acids. If you're not vegetarian, I think you should treat yourself to a nice steak dinner. next time you go to the market, get a 16 oz NY strip. who cares if it costs 8 bucks? you deserve it. salt and pepper both sides, sear in an oiled skillet 3-6 mins per side. it's fast. and before you know it you have a lovely amino acid supplement.
> > Some of it might be anxiety about starting a new medicine or about the bad lyrica experience.
>
> You are right. These are contributors.> > please give yourself a good chance. You owe it to yourself to give it a real trial, otherwise you might always wonder.
>
> I probably would.I know a lot of babblers would!
> > hang in there, and keep posting. I felt pretty awful the first week after starting cymbalta, and again for a few days every time my dose was increased. It ended up working out well for me though.
>
> That's good news. What dosage did you settle on?Um, I settled on 90 mg for about 4 months. then I unsettled and now I'm on my 4th day at 120mg. so, I've got a few side effects going too. Nothing like the first time though. Just annoying things like my digestion is somewhat um. yeah. and other private matters which are also less than ideal. and my muscles are twitchier than usual, and I'm feeling more hyper-vigilant/exxagerated startle than usual. and more nappish than usual. *yawn* but it's okay. got to have hope. If this won't work, I'm going to have to switch AD. oh goody...
> > still cheering you on, hoping the dysphoria fairy comes and takes all your bad thoughts away. You have to be really quiet though, otherwise she gets scared. She's a pretty timid little thing. She can handle your bad thoughts though- she just waves her magic wand and they start shrinking and becoming quieter and quieter. Eventually you won't even be able to hear bad thoughts or see bad things.
>
> It's hard to quiet my mind when the world seems so unmanageable and the future so bleak. There are demands being placed on me by my family to help take care of my 96 year old grandmother, who just broke her hip. I really don't do that much, but just leaving the house is often more than I have the mental energy to accomplish. I feel trapped. I need to remain functional enough to help her. Can I afford to allow Emsam to make me feel worse? Not really. But, if not now, when? You know?You can only do so much. Tell yourself that Scott fell and broke his limbic system (or make up something silly). When you get a good afternoon or a good morning, or even a burst of anxiety- HARNESS it and use it as ENERGY to get out, call your grandmother, go shopping. Eat ice cream.
Don't be shy to call your friends and ask them to maybe pick up a gallon of milk and a couple of frozen pizzas on their way over to watch HOUSE tonight at your place. (better be House. I'm sick of baseball!) Your friends would no doubt like to help out, but they don't know what you need.
Tell us more about your grandmother-- that's major stress, especially if your family is placing pressure on you to hold things together on your end. That sounds SO tough. You are hurting right now because you are HUMAN, and you can only handle so much. I think these life events are more relevant that g-protein coupled receptors anyways. But that's my bias ;)
(((((hugs for you)))))
hope you get an hour or two where you can get some peace and some Scott-Time ((((((rest))))))If you find yourself in trouble this evening, and need some distraction or discussion, come hang out on babble-chat. I found that if I log in, even if there's no one there, within 10-15 mins someone will pop in and say hi. chat is so slow that the time really flies by, and then, before you know it, it's bedtime.
((((more hugs for you))))
-Li
> - Scott
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:698340
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061028/msgs/699396.html