Posted by yxibow on October 23, 2006, at 17:22:00
In reply to Re: Complex hallucination » yxibow, posted by bimini on October 23, 2006, at 13:06:04
> >I could have a PET or a SPECT scan, but these to date are largely research tools and don't really change the psychopharmacologists' approach to treatment
>
> I'd love to be a research object. Don't qualify for one or another reason. I think someone could have a lot of fun analyzing what goes on in my head.As would I...
>
> OHHHHHH, lights. After the accident lights were spectacular! Christmas lights quadroupled with steaks to the sides. Headlights are blinding still, stayes on long after the car is gone.This happened approximately Nov 17, 2001, the timing of the Leonid meteor showers. Headlights were blinding going up the mountain to see the few meteors I normally would have been interested in seeing for hours. I quickly and safely as possible retreated from the mountain, blinding headlights and all.
Photoflash pictures of me, the flash stayed on for 15 (!) minutes afterwards as a typical reverse afterimage. This has reduced to not completely but near normal.
I'm ok with the new LED lights, but those new traffic lights with the blue flashers in the middle, on dangerous intersections, make me have to drive with eyes closed, blinking to watch the car in front.The new stupid blue headlights on cars are the worst for me, some come factory installed. They're even bad for people with migraines and so-called "normal" people. I consider myself normal but I digress.. They should be outlawed.
> Computer. I have a glare screen and screen refresh rate set at 75Hz, didn't think 85Hz made a difference to me. But liquid crystal monitors are best.
Yes, I switched finally to a flat panel about a year ago or so and flat panels are pretty much okay for me -- TFTs are back illuminated by a fluorescent light but the intensity is so low for most panels that it is not noticeable really as a fluorescent light for me.
>I'm ridiculously light sensitive. You see someone in a big box store with sunglasses and hat, that would be me.
Yep -- for a year or more afterwards, it actually was socially important in my development, I hung out at a nightclub and in order to be there I had to wear sunglasses when I went into the dance floor -- the strobe lights and artificial lighting was just insane. People probably thought I was on X or something, which I never do. Although some people wear sunglasses in a club just to look cool. I dont really care. Anyhow the sunglasses have come off.
>
> The palinopsia you describe could have to do with the distance of focus. When I am tired focusing gets sloppy, typicaly farther than it should. The v-therapy training taught me how to reset when this happens, but doesn't work well when tired. Looking with just one eye tells me which one went on vacation :) My delayed, slow or interrupted processing accounts for the dizzyness rug pattern, tile lines and such cause.Possibly -- its hard to say... I think its still linked to psychiatric vision rather than true vision, but ultimately of course they all cross into the II, III, IV, VI nerves in the brain in some capacity and into the optic nerve.
> SKIP this last paragraph, might be upsetting RE 5 years ago-
> We lost so much in 9/11. I live near the WTC and everyone I know has been deeply affected, everything has changed, can't pretend it hasn't. I went 3 weeks ago, dragged some friends with me. It was so quiet, still almost. Hardly anyone there talked. The omnipresent vendors didn't hussle as usual either. Like time went slower, you could say underfilter. I thought the physical absense was to explain the change of sound compared to a block away. My friends said they felt more than a physical void as well. We comfort ourselves embracing our brothers and sisters gained, sensitive by virtue or intimate connection.
>
> Not victim but survivor.
> Hugs, bimini
Hugs to you too, you are and were far closer, but it was estimated that 25% or more, or uncountable numbers of americans were walking wounded shortly afterwards no matter where they were.
Time has passed, and with medication things almost numb things completely, which actually interferes ironically with psychotherapy because you can't get at the root of things. So for that and other reasons some of the medication is being reduced slowly to see what happens.
So I'm not upset by verbal descriptions. Now the news video footage that has been played thousands of times since the event does get to me, and is really I think unnecessary, when counting "anniversaries". We all saw it, and if we didn't see it, we were probably lucky that it didnt burn itself in our brains.-- tidings and care
Jay
poster:yxibow
thread:696508
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061020/msgs/697064.html