Posted by HelenInCalif on September 20, 2006, at 3:08:44
I'm really having a problem with motivation and apathy. I can look at deadlines and things that need doing, but feel no motivation. Otherwise I'm eating well, exercising, spending time with friends and family... although I'm lax on initiating these.
While I've been reading here and elsewhere, any summaries or opinions on Apathy as a distinct problem would be helpful and welcome. I'm thinking to call my psychiatrist at Kaiser: there'll probably be 2-4 weeks before the next available appointment, and I should try to know what to say ahead of time.
It's apathy without depression. Or at least not in any way like I know, and I've had depression before (treated with SSRIs). Nor is there anxiety- I had that in 2004-2005 and treated it with Klonapin. In fact, what worries me (intellectually, not emotionally) is that I'm *not* feeling particularly anxious about late deadlines and this apathy I have towards them.
The apathy isn't from meds- I haven't had SSRIs or klonopin for over a year (after a very stressful 2004)- the only med I'm taking now is ritalin. And I'm taking the same 10mg 3x day that I've been taking for 10 years.
All my emotions but one seem normal- funny shows are funny, sad news makes me cry, stupidity makes me angry, scary things make me fearful... but when contemplating a long-due deadline I'm simply not motivated, not in any ordinary sense.
The closest analogy I can think of is that it's like I've lost my hunger, but food still tastes great and I still like to cook. But if you didn't feel hungry then eating would be an intellectual exercise, not something you're driven to do.
When reading on medline and here it seems as if one can differentiate apathy from depression. Based on my past experiences with depression, what I'm having now isn't depression, but it's definitely wrong.
poster:HelenInCalif
thread:687589
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060919/msgs/687589.html