Posted by jealibeanz on August 10, 2006, at 15:04:26
I've considered a diagnosis of Bipolar II before, but always eventually dismiss it, thinking it can't be true. My current bout of insomnia has led me back to this thought. I've been taking Lunesta for a year and it's worked well. However, since the end of May, it has not. I can't fall asleep easily or stay asleep more than an hour. I get about 2-4 hours of sleep per night. I rarely nap.
Despite this fact, I am able to go to school (intense and difficult program) and doing extremly well, with the exception of one course, which might get me dismissed from school (so it's now significantly interferring with life). I'm able to get through the day OK though.
I'm thinking of somehow mentioning the lack of sleep (showing her how tired/out of it I am from a medical condition, that I'm not stupid and shouldn't really be failing a course), the severity, and how sometimes I actually function fairly normally to one of my profs (MD's and PA's). See if she reacts to the abnormality and further pursues me with questions.
I have to say a lot of the time I just feel "out of it". I'm tired but not neeeearly as tired as I think I should be considering my lack of rest and high level of activity during the day. Actually sometimes I feel completely normal, with a little coffee after consecutive nights of 2-3 hours sleep. This obviously isn't normal.
I defintely consider myself to be going through a depression since this time, actually before the onset of major insomnia. I cry a lot, am sad, apathetic, irritable, and hopeless. I also have lots of anxiety.
Here's my history:
-I'd say my first major depression that I remember occured at age 15, mostly occurs seasonally. It's happened almost even year since then, to a degree.
-I've always had general/social anxiety, severely as a child.
-I've gone through the type of depression, 4 years ago, where one sleeps excessively. I used to sleep about 16 hours a day for months.
-I don't consider myself to be manic. However, I was unusually outgoing and ambitious a year ago, traveling abroad, exploring new jobs, and careers. Still, I was reserved, but it was a change for me, if you knew me, it would be noticeable.
-Right now I've been using my creditdebit card daily to buy things, not huuuge amounts, but daily things, sometimes multiple times a day, that I'd normally never do. I'm a poor student. I used to think twice before buying a pack of gum or soda once a week!
-I'm somewhat impulsive and reactive. I get upset easily or make decisions without clearly thinking them through.
-I've been diagnosed with major depression, ADHD, and GAD/SAD in the past.
-The combo of Klonopin + Adderall through me into major depression.
-I've taken Wellbutrin for 4 months, not sure of a large response, maybe a little apathy. Effexor for 6 weeks, caused major apathy. A couple of weeks of Paxil and Buspar, so nothing noticeable.
-My PA did ask about Mania once, but I said no, because in my mind I definitely don't have wild manic/happy/energetic/terrible unusual episodes. My major complaints are always varying levels of constaint anxiety/depression.
What do you think? The sleep thing is definitely pointing me here right now. I was desperately trying to think of an AD to take since I'm depressed, but now I'm thinking it might be something more.
Can a family doc treat BP? What are the med possibilities? Mood stabilizers, right? Any that don't cause weight gain? Do you add an AD always, or just sometimes? Again, weight is an issue there too since I've always gained lots from them. Ughhh maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and stick with the crappy life and my Xanax... Help!!!
poster:jealibeanz
thread:675442
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060810/msgs/675442.html