Posted by curtm on May 15, 2006, at 15:48:03
In reply to Re: Is there a difference? Suicide and just wishing?, posted by willyee on May 15, 2006, at 14:01:49
(sigh) Too many good comments in all the posts in this thread, so I won't even cut/paste any (too much work.)
There is this quarry on the way to work that was excavated alongside the highway. This cut was made only about two years. The edge was a mere 40 feet from the shoulder. As they were cutting, there were unprotected edges of the cut. They kept digging over and over, deeper and deeper. The drop was 150+ feet by the time they finished and it had barely 4 foot of dirt burm along the edge. I thought it was odd that it wasn't higher...
Flash back a couple years before that-- Every night I would think how disgraceful to my family it would be to commit suicide in some obvious way. I thought that it be great if something natural happened to me. Maybe I could have a heart attack from stress. I thought it would be convenient if a real accident happened. Maybe an oncoming truck would veer into the wrong lane. I thought of ways that would not be "coincidental". Maybe I could go to East L.A. and drive around projects at night with my doors unlocked and my windows down. I would even come up with with events that would look "accidental."
...every day I drove by and looked at that quarry to and from work. I could see the bottom as the road was elevated from the edge. Were they planning to put a burm up or not? Then they put the burm up. I drove by that short burm everyday. There were even two places (yes I counted them) that had a short section without dirt. One had a culvert and the other had a bush that they had worked around. For two years, I drove by that quarry with a dark cloud looming in my mind, but I kept on driving...
Now the burm is about 8 feet tall. Oh, well. Maybe they cut to close to the road and the earth won't be able to hold itself. I'll just keep driving by it everyday.
poster:curtm
thread:644123
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060515/msgs/644349.html