Posted by Jost on May 9, 2006, at 20:58:28
In reply to Saw my pdoc today, posted by pseudoname on May 8, 2006, at 17:59:56
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> We disagreed bigtime though, on my decades of depression, especially the last 12 years, during which I've been essentially unemployed, out of school, never in a romantic/sexual relationship, not in a social group, losing money, not doing much self-education or self-care, accomplishing very little, and losing my friends. Plus spending a huge percentage of the time in physical agony from depression.
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> She said my life was incalculably richer for the experience.
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> I say if I went to grad school tomorrow, I'd still be 20 years behind in my professional development. She said that if I go to grad school now I'll have all this depth of insight and that my career may be far more rewarding now because of all that.
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> She said I needed 12 years to germinate and “get ready.”
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> I think sometimes loss is just loss. I'm 41, and I've been depressed since I was in high school. There isn't any wisdom it gave me that was worth more than half my life. (And even though I'm getting better I'm STILL depressed.) I wish I'd asked her, “Why are you so afraid to acknowledge loss?”Your psych doctor might have been romanticizing suffering-- rather than being pollyanna-ish-- you know, thinking it makes you deeper--
I don't really agree with that, but at least it's an ennobling rather than demeaning view of people's struggles, and as such forgiveable.
She might also see ways that you've grown and learned during those 12 years, that don't see or aren't taking account of. The years weren't just "depression" --they were a life that unfortunately was sadder or harder than it could/should have been, but not useless or empty.
As for grad school, professions move on, but you won't be behind, you'll be wherever you are. You'll have the ideas and projects that you have, which will be exciting or worthwhile-- It might be a loss you'll have to deal with, starting later, but more than compensated for by the gain of doing it.
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:641472
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060504/msgs/641963.html