Posted by bigcat on November 20, 2005, at 20:44:57
In reply to Re: Lexapro: 10mg vs 20mg. Any more beneficial?????? » bigcat, posted by ed_uk on November 20, 2005, at 14:19:03
> Hi Matt
>
> >Tegretol or Trileptal no. Are these anticonvulsants with mood-stabilizing properties?
>
> Yes, they're mainly used to treat mania and mixed episodes. They may also be effective in reducing the agitation associated with severe depression.
>
> >my brother is depressed
>
> Has your brother ever had anything resembling a manic or hypomanic episode?No, never. He is in somewhat of a catatonic depression. He doesn't really "come through" and can't think of anything to say very often. I know he's depressed, but if asked, he would say he isn't. I feel terribly for him, but he has a life (a job and a girlfreind and DOES things, so he's miles ahead of where I am).
>
> Here is a description of 'classic' mania....
>
> (I say 'classic' because it's now recognised that mania can be very unpleasant, rather than euphoric as described here)
>
> Mood is elevated out of keeping with the individual's circumstances and may vary from carefree joviality to almost uncontrollable excitement. Elation is accompanied by increased energy, resulting in overactivity, pressure of speech, and a decreased need for sleep. Normal social inhibitions are lost, attention cannot be sustained, and there is often marked distractability. Self-esteem is inflated, and grandiose or over-optimistic ideas are freely expressed.
>
> Perceptual disorders may occur, such as the appreciation of colours as especially vivid (and usually beautiful), a preoccupation with fine details of surfaces or textures, and subjective hyperacusis. The individual may embark on extravagant and impractical schemes, spend money recklessly, or become aggressive, amorous, or facetious in inappropriate circumstances. In some manic episodes the mood is irritable and suspicious rather than elated.Yes, I had a manic episode when I was on 90mg's Dexedrine and had smoked the finest grade marijuana I had ever gotten my hands on. It lasted about three hours. I was delusional, grandiose, and euphoric. Something inside me cracked, some marvellously liberating insight. I psychoanalyze the event frequently, and I think the "mania" had something to do with a realization that I had control over my depression and could beat it through thought alone (which now haunts me, because it was the absolute truth at the time, and is inconceivable at present). This was intoxicating and threw me over the edge. I remember marvelling at how air actually felt like it was reaching my lungs and I felt lighter, as if in my normal depressed state I suffer from some kind of suffocation. But this was 100% med-induced. I sometimes have intense reactions to weed, and my true "self" emerges somewhat. This, coupled with a full and inexpressibly liberating remission from the Dexedrine, along with some mind-shattering insights, threw me into a brief manic episode. I thought I had figured the Universe out, I thought I had attained enlightenment, and realized that I was God (more of a philosophical belief based on Buddhism and my one experience tripping on mushrooms). As the mania faded, I was slill slighly euphoric and talkative, and it was hands down the smartest I had ever been. I could understand and be fascinated by anything. I seemed to know much more than I would have ever given myself credit for. I gave the paramedic a dissertation on the history of Western music (from the Blues, to the Beatles, to Bob Marley and beyond) that just slipped out effortlessly, and was somewhat of a masterpiece, weaving all the strings together without missing a note. I can't fathom having that type of mental capacity locked inside me.
>
> Here is a description of 'classic' hypomania....
>
> Hypomania is a lesser degree of mania, in which abnormalities of mood and behaviour are too persistent and marked to be included under cyclothymia but are not accompanied by hallucinations or delusions. There is a persistent mild elevation of mood (for at least several days on end), increased energy and activity, and usually marked feelings of well-being and both physical and mental efficiency. Increased sociability, talkativeness, overfamiliarity, increased sexual energy, and a decreased need for sleep are often present but not to the extent that they lead to severe disruption of work or result in social rejection. Irritability, conceit, and boorish behaviour may take the place of the more usual euphoric sociability.
>
> Concentration and attention may be impaired, thus diminishing the ability to settle down to work or to relaxation and leisure, but this may not prevent the appearance of interests in quite new ventures and activities, or mild over-spending.
>When Marplan worked on my fourth trial, I was hypomanic for a few weeks. Calling old aquaintances out of the blue, over-confident in my abilities, no inhibitions. Hyper-sexualized (depression kills my sex drive).
> >OCD
>
> Did you say you tried Anafranil?
>
VERY briefly (you've been hearing that a lot from me lately, eh? Well (I **hope**) that's been the story of my flawed treatment. It seemed neutral when I was on it. It didn't make me worse or give me any nagging side-effects, but we did NOT give it a fair trial to do it's thing. (Two weeks maybe). I mentioned it because it has been described on these boards as the *Gold Standard* for OCD. I know Luvox also has a rep for cracking down on OCD, and I suppose the SSRI's in general can have OCD-controlling capacities.> >My chief obsession is the self-monitoring thing
>
> Would you say it's a form of social anxiety?
>
Yes, absolutely. However, when I'm alone, I replay the day's events and my miserable failures and humiliations. Or continue to let past events traumatize me. But I monitor the self even when I'm around my parents, where I shouldn't have any social anxiety. I guess I'm just hyper-vigilant, and hyper-aware of how I'm presenting myself to the world. Self-consumed and self-conscious obsessing. That's it. But I obsess about anything and everthing. It's debilitating and fatiguing. I can't think outside of this box. Nothing new can slip in or get released. I hoard worry, shame, and dread and mix them around into thought patterns that always end in "hopeless", "helpless", "desperate", "this illness has and will ruin my life". I have no life outside of the depression. IT IS ME. That's where every seed of a thought MUST finish (only to be recycled when another stimuli sends me down a different course with the same ultimate destination).From what I have written, it would seem a good bet that I have some bipolar in me, but the one mania and the other hypomania, were the only episodes in my entire life that something had noticeably altered my vegetative state. And they were both med-induced. And some of the hypomania could have been because I was thrown into remission suddenly, not gradually, and it was such an unexpected joy to be alive, that I couldn't hold all my love or excitement in.
I'm just severely depressed, And it's chronic, not an "episode". It peaked it's head through at age 8 and progressively got worse until I sought treatment at 18, and it's gotten worse from that point on as well. I'm powerless.> Kind regards
>
> EdYou're Entirely Too Kind Ed :)
-matt-
poster:bigcat
thread:573903
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051119/msgs/580712.html