Posted by Maxime on October 19, 2005, at 12:19:49
In reply to Re: Anyone else find the walls interesting? » Maxime, posted by 4wd on October 18, 2005, at 22:28:08
Last week there were tons of tears. Now I am not crying at all anymore. I don't feel anything. My face is void of expression.
But as I responded to some posts prior to yours, I realised that this is all my fault. I am restricting my food too much so naturally my depression is going to get worse. I have no energy.
I stopped taking my AD 3 days ago but have remained on the mood stabiliser because I will go through withdrawal.
And I keep thinking that it CAN'T get any worse. But you know what? It can and it does. So I don't know how far down the black I am going to go. I would like to stop now please.
Maxime
> Oh Maxime, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. There is a poem by Coleridge that kind of describes it "Dejection: An Ode" or maybe "Ode to Dejection"
>
> Do you ever get to the point of feeling so horrible that you cry uncontrollably? Sometimes that helps me. To just let go, feel as horrible as I possibly can, think I can't go on, surrender to it and let it have me and think I can't bear it. After an hour or so of weeping (and praying) I will drag myself up from the floor, make myself take a shower and realize I have found some small measure of relief. I'm not there right now , I"m feeling okay at this moment but that has worked a little bit in the past.
>
> How do you think you would feel if you were on no meds? Could you feel worse than you do? Starting with a clean slate and all that? Shock the system? I don't know. I don't have the experience that others here have with meds - I can only offer empathy and share in your sorrow.
>
> Love,
> Marsha
>
>
poster:Maxime
thread:567980
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051017/msgs/568843.html