Posted by Nickengland on September 13, 2005, at 15:36:47
In reply to Re: Whats your story nick ?, posted by linkadge on September 12, 2005, at 21:57:29
Hi linkadge
Our experiences do sound very similar indeed..
>I don't have highs. I never feel "really" good.
This is the thing that stopped me recieving a bipolar diagnosis for so long, as my highs were never really and have never been what could be considered full-blown text book mania. In some respects I was able to hide the 'highs' I was having for a few years and looking back at times they were not far up at all.
The last hypomania though, that was just something else, I felt absolutely on top of the world, although I wasn't psychotic or anything like that ~ I appeared very high functioning from the outside, but I felt very different on the inside, hard to describe as it was exactly like a feeling of slipping into a different mood state, but the oppsite of depression as it felt so good, it lasted about 5 months.
>I never take my meds as prescribed. Prescribed SSRI after SSRI but I tinker so much with alternatives too (SJW fish oil Taurine etc.)
I was like that, especially with the SSRI's I would only be able to take them for a maxium of about 6-8 months then through side effects and generally being made to feel worse rather than better I'd quit taking them.
I've always had time for the alternatives and found they have helped greatly towards recovery. The St Johns wort didnt go down to well, but lacked side efects so that was a plus, I also used ginseng before (not now though) 5-HTP, I tried that once when I was depressed but felt nothing..
Taurine and omega 3 have greatly helped - followed by magnesium citrate and recently zinc and the b-vitamins, b6 in particular. I think they account for at least 10-15% of the symptom contol I've managed to achieve.
>I have been on mood stabilizers (lithium, epival, tegretol, trileptal, atypicals) but I come off of them. They help to some degree, but I always come off of them because they all make me dumb and I can't do my schoolwork.
This is one negative effect I do get from taking 2 anticonvulsants even though I luckily respond to low dosages and purposely keep the dosages as low as possible to avoid unwanted side effects ~ that being the "slowed down" effect. I guess at the moment I finally feel I can take these drugs longterm for the time being, but am always on the look out to try and counter the side effects and keep myself as sharp as possible ~ but it can be diffcult at times.
>I'd like to commit to bipolar, but I don't have faith that would help.
I understand what you mean ~ if the current medications i'm taking cannot stop my mood cycle, then I will probably feel the same way. Only time will tell, at the moment I'm just taking each day as it comes hoping for the best that if I have to go through with taking these drugs daily ~ then they better work long term...
Kind regards
Nick
poster:Nickengland
thread:552809
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050909/msgs/554709.html