Posted by AMD on August 17, 2005, at 11:47:54
Folks,
I am absolutely miserable today, having the hardest time even focusing at work, feeling sad, depressed, and sick. Ugh.
I feel like I've done so much damage to my brain these past few months, drinking and doing cocaine, and maybe methamphetamine once or twice, and it just hit me today ... wow! This is not casual use, this is addiction. So I'm panicking now thinking, ugh, I've become one of those stories, one of those sad cases people frown upon, and it's making me so sad.
Has anyone recovered from this type of thing? Does the depression subside, or stay with you for life? Does your brain heal? Or have I dug myself a hole so deep that escaping from it even with a ladder or the help of a friend's shoulders will be unlikely?
(For the record, I started AA last week ... but that hasn't helped the depression. I have bipolar II disorder.)
So sad.
amd
poster:AMD
thread:542968
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050816/msgs/542968.html