Posted by Maxime on March 27, 2005, at 16:45:42
In reply to Re: No I don't want to recover, posted by Racer on March 27, 2005, at 15:31:49
Okay I have obsessive thoughts. It's part of the ANA. Wanting to be a perfectionist. Fear of failing at anything. Obsessed with pictures of thin models. Obsessed with calories. Obsessed with the number on the scale which WON'T MOVE NO MATTER HOW LITTLE I EAT OR HOW MUCH I EXERCISE! You restrict and your weight goes down. Mine just sits there at an high end normal range which for me is FAT. When you are only 5 feet tall it doesn't take much to look fat. I am disgusted with myself.
I did report the Babble Mail to Dr. Bob but I don't know if he is around or not.
When (if) I can get my weight down by 50 pounds then maybe I will try and recover. But until then I am not going to do a thing about it and I hope it kills me. But since I can't get it to budge by one pound I doubt it will ever happen. I am some sort of freak!
I just want to crawl into my bed and cry and never come out again. That is where I am heading now ...
My depression is at its worst and all my doctor wants to do is zap my brain with ECT.Maxime
poster:Maxime
thread:475688
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050326/msgs/476311.html