Posted by midwestgirl on November 19, 2004, at 23:31:34
In reply to Too sad to sleep, to sad to stay awake, posted by hope4best on November 19, 2004, at 22:25:45
To hope4best,
What a freaking jerk. Honestly though and as awful as it might sound, don't you think he would have done the same thing to you no matter what the situation was? People like your finace just make excuses so they don't have to feel guilty for being slime and blame it on you for whatever reason. This time its your meds. He could say the same freaking thing if you were working long hours or just think if you ever got married and had kids with the guy yourself - dont you think he would say the same thing about a "lack of passion"? Especially since all new moms gain weight and dont feel sexy - so would that be a good excuse for him then?
I know its hard to look ahead past the hurt and pain that he has caused you. You have every right to rip up all his clothes - but don't, be the bigger person. Or maybe just his favorite hockey jersey or college sweatshirt.
Stick him with the mortgage payment and get the hell out. Everyone will know that it was his fault and in a couple months when his "girl on the side" kicks him out, he will realize what a jerk he is. Don't take him back though - anyone who could hurt you at a time when you needed support the most is a chicken - he is too afraid of tough times, he only wants the easy, good times. All relationships go through bad times and you need someone who sticks it out. I haven't found that person yet, but I know I will. Right now, I am OK being single. I have good friends, I volunteer, I try not to go crazy too much( I have a boderline personality - whatever that means), I love my kitties and I watch a lot of Law and Order. What the hell.
Go on a vacation and go by yourself and be the mysterious stranger, go to a casino with friends and gamble loudly and make fools out of yourselves, go to a male strip club and laugh at how icky naked guys really are, take yourself out to the nicest restaurant in your town, sit at the bar and just laugh at all the guys who hit on you and let them fight to buy your dinner. Then let out a huge belch just cause you can.
Even if you don't feel confident and strong, fake it. The more you do, the better you will feel. Soon you will go an hour without thinking about him, then half the day, then a whole day, then longer.
Sorry for the ramble but it really pisses me off when anyone blames their own faults on someone else, especially someone who is sick and most of all needs emotional support. Poo on him.
Good luck but you dont need it. There is a lot ahead of you but you have to go make it happen. Fake it at first - then it gets easier.
Midwestgirl
poster:midwestgirl
thread:418099
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041118/msgs/418124.html