Posted by Barbaracat on November 11, 2004, at 17:54:33
In reply to Re: Maybe some help? » Barbaracat, posted by katia on November 11, 2004, at 16:40:20
Katia,
That's the thing about SJW - no one knows how it works. But it doesn't have the same side effect profile as SSRIs. Alone, the results were spotty and I need a mood stabilizer with it (I wasn't taking lithium or anything else when I first went on it), but I need a MS anyway. What would concern me is upping an SSRI dose and risking a mixed states episode. I hope Paxil stays effective for you, and free is a good price.Merlin was one of those cats who didn't want to go. He struggled through his first shot, lost his heartbeat and then regained it and came to again, breathing and fighting to live. Even his second shot took a while. The vet said he'd never seen an animal with such a strong will to live.
It was just agony wondering if I was making a big mistake too soon, making presumptions about taking matters of life and death into my hands for my reasons, not his. The fact that it was torture on us to see his body shutting down, seeing him so worn out, starving, his little bum covered with maggots because he could no longer clean himself (that was the final straw) - those things mattered to US, but didn't seem to matter so much to him. He still wanted to go out, lie in the sun, get brushed. His spirit was so strong but his body was just about gone. My greatest horror was that he wouldn't come home one day and we'd find him a few weeks later via our noses. Our lives were put on hold, just waiting for the end with a constant reminder of wrenching loss. With my Mom's death so recently, the wounds couldn't heal. But this was mine and my husband's pain. Merlin seemed fine with it and he was so bonded with us that I believe he was worried about how we would cope. And he just plain loved life.
I don't regret our decision at all. I miss him very much, that sweet pure little purry love that I'll never know the same way in this life. But gad, that drawn out death watch is just too much and I feel released from a heavy load of unresolved grieving since we let him go. I ache for people who have to go through this with their loved ones. At least humans can decide these things for themselves more consciously. And John Ashcroft trying to repeal the Death with Dignity Act in Oregon - perhaps he will long for a Dr. Kevorkian when his time comes.
poster:Barbaracat
thread:9730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041108/msgs/414709.html