Posted by Ilene on October 24, 2004, at 19:18:40
In reply to Re: Be thankful for their honesty-Ilene, posted by Cecilia on October 24, 2004, at 3:42:22
> Why didn`t therapy help me? I just don`t know. I`ve obsessed and obsessed about this. Number one: inability to trust. Fear of getting better. Transference, countertransference, resistance. Feeling that getting better =losing my therapist. Feelng that getting better=my mother won. Feeling that getting better=my therapist won. Extreme social phobia and anxiety. Feeling that I didn`t deserve to get better. Self-hate. Shame. The list could go on forever. Obviously, this was psychodynamic therapy, though once in a whie she`d try to throw in a few CBT principles. I just don`t respond to the CBT stuff at all, though most pdocs think it`s "scientific" and the only thing that works. To me, it`s so invalidating, trying to make yourself believe "rational" thoughts that aren`t true. Yes, I`ve tried it too, though only for a short time, not the 632 sessions I spent with my psychodynamic therapist, because I was so obsessed with her, so desperately hoping it would work, so lonely. Towards the end she told me "I can`t help you, you obviously need to be depressed." Maybe that`s true. I don`t even know who I`d be if I weren`t depressed. Cecilia
I think your "reasons" are actually symptoms of depression.CBT is highly regarded partly because it is formalized and therefore easy to evaluate. There are people who respond well to it and people who don't. I haven't read anything about the characteristics of the different groups. It would be interesting to know it there were differences.
I haven't gotten much from therapy but I'm willing to give it one more try.
poster:Ilene
thread:404563
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041024/msgs/406751.html