Posted by utopizen on October 10, 2004, at 15:28:38
In reply to Utopizen, ame sans vie, tepiaca......, posted by jonh kimble on October 9, 2004, at 23:39:27
Okay,
I'm telling you straight out, if you plan on going on Desoxyn and Klonopin, take an antidepressant at the very least. I'd be more concerned about taking an antidepressant than anything else. And don't bother yourself with the nmda stuff.
Second, stimulants DO NOT force you to do work, force you to have concentration, or are support to in any way give you "motivation." If you expect that drugs will walk you to the library to do work, etc. like I expect them to do for me, you will be miserable, as much as I am today.
Second, don't take Klonopin for insomnia issues, just in case that's one of your reasons for doing so. It only relaxes you after you adjust to it-- you'd have to take insanely high doses for it to "knock you out," as so many sadly expect a sleep med to do for them. If you desire a drug to literally force yourself to enter sleep, then you need to deal with this issue with a therapist. I use to think I needed a sedative for that reason, and I really regret it.
Third, don't even bother with Desoxyn if you think you will need more than the 20-25mg/day dose. Anyone can convince themselves they need a high dose of any med. There's no reason to think this is a true need, since your mind is the cause of your illness- so stop trusting it! Your mind is the reason why you have mental illness in the first place! So stop listening to it!
Trust me, I listened to my head, and it doesn't work and it's left me miserable. All the medline searches in the world won't do a single thing for you. Trust me, I've basically lived on med research for the past 4 years. And I've only gotten worse since doing it!
A lot of ADD is about accepting that all the medicine in the world won't stop you from having all your symptoms. Desoxyn might help you a bit, but if you're expecting it to kill your procrastination, you're not going to go very far. Give yourself some credit-- you can helpful out without relying ENTIRELY on the meds you take! And even if you can't, learn to live with what you are, not what you could be.
I'm not trying to dis you, I'm trying to avoid seeing you become as miserable as I am. I think you've noticed me and Ame Sans Vie are alike. We try really hard, we have really good intentions, and yet, look at us- we're still here. We're optimists, but it gets less optimistic with each trial. Ultimately, we have to realize there's no cures, and while certain meds might bring some relief, we can't expect the world.
There's a song by the (sadly deceased) singer, Elliot Smith. It's called Junk Bond Trader, and I think you should check it out.
Here's a lyric from it:
I won't take your medicine
I don't need a remedy
To be everything I'm suppose to beElliot Smith died, after stabbing himself in the heart. Maybe he should have taken the medicine, or at the very least listened to his own songs.
When you live for who you are more than who you once thought you could become, you stop becoming a failure and start becoming yourself.
poster:utopizen
thread:401023
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041007/msgs/401224.html