Posted by katia on July 5, 2004, at 16:25:53
In reply to Re: paxil cleared the static in my brain » katia, posted by holymama on July 5, 2004, at 15:44:14
> Hi Katia,
> Part of the reason why I want to try going off meds is because part of me will always wonder if my diagnosis is correct, and it's hard to make a decision to stay on meds (forever??) not knowing.**Hi Autumn,
Yes, I still am questioning my dx. I feel there are so many factors that go into it and variables. Who knows? I've definitely gone back and forth on it. I guess since I crashed into a depression (mild-mod) after that brief mild hypomanic period, that told me. During that period, I definitely thought I'd outgrown it that I was better, that the dx was wrong. Etc. all the things we all do during the course of figuring out whether to accept the dx or not. I do know that I've been depressed sooooo much of my life with crazy periods (now I realize are hypo or mixed states). It seems to explain for me. I am feeling fine now and feel like "well if I'm fine, than I should go off meds because I'm better". But you know, it's probably b/c I'm on the right cocktail now that I am feeling better! It gets tricky.>When you went off your meds in January and became hypomanic -- did that help you in your decision to stick it out with med searching? I think that 'proof' that I am bipolar would help me, since I too was first diagnosed as depressed and only after going manic on my first antidepressant did I get rediagnosed as bipolar II.
*Yes, I'm BPII as well. Again, who knows about all these labels. There really are so many variables. I get proof then I forget about it later and need it again. I've had this proof too many times actually.
> I'll have to think about your point about being overmedicated. Right now I'm on 3 antidepressants, lithium, still hooked on an anti-anxiety pill to get to sleep, and then there is my thyroid medication...and that's nothing compared to what I was on 6 weeks ago, when I was hospitalized. What a mess.
**Yes, indeed. Three ADs are too much for a BP. I couldn't take any of them at all without losing it. That's why I am surprised that Paxil is working for me. But however, I am on Seroquel and Trileptal and about 6gs of fish oil to stabilize it all. And my dose of Paxil is quite low. I actually consulted my psychic about this. She is the one who helped me realize what I already knew about my body. That I'm so sensitive to meds that I need much less than the normal therapeutic doses. I was even crazier b/c i was too medicated for those 18 mos. There was also a lot of changes astrologically for me that apparently I"m in a very strong and clear space for the first time in my life in that regard. (don't know what your beliefs are, but again, this is just another variable IMO.) In a way, it was good to clear meds out of my system for about two months (except for the fish oil and Seroquel I was still on during that med holiday) because my system is so sensitive, it couldn't clear out of one med while I started another on top of it. bottom line, my system was confused and I needed to start with a clear clean slate. And restarted with meds with trileptal, then we added Wellbutrin - I went crazy. Then we added Lamictal and I was super agitated. Then Paxil. Which is funny because that is the med that my psychic recommened months ago. energetically, it works for my body. But I was worried about weight gain and those serotonin w/drawals that happen. It's interesting that I finally came to Paxil and it works.
BTW, I tried Lithium and it was awful for me. I was trapped in a stupor.
**How were you hospitalized? Voluntarily? what happened and how long were you there?> WHen you went med free in January, did you try anything else? If I do it, I want to have another plan. I know that pre-meds I was far too depressed far too much of the time to try that again. I have a few ideas -- treatment with higher doses of thyroid medications, some serious homeopathy and nutritional supplements, shock treatments are not out of the question, my husband has even offered for me to move out while I try to heal myself (generous considering we have three kids under 6 he would have to take care of on top of working full time). Part of me really hopes the medication keeps me stable, part of me is really curious to see what I'm like off meds knowing what I do now about bipolar illness and ways to treat it. Any thoughts, let me know.
**You're family seems very understanding. Again, when I had my med holiday, I was still on fish oil and Seroquel (25 - 75mg) during that time. That helps me sleep and with that I was sleeping 5-7 hrs. a night, which is very little for me. Now I take just under 25mg of Seroquel for sleep. Knocks me out for hours. It's great for sleep.
I also considerd ECT at one point and I figured that would be my last resort. But I've improved now so I don't need it now.Good luck in your process. And I think you may be right in that the ADs could be making you spin out more, like they did me.
Katia
poster:katia
thread:362817
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040704/msgs/363263.html