Posted by Racer on July 4, 2004, at 14:48:30
In reply to What's going on with me???? PLEASE RESPOND, posted by Notaliseliz on July 4, 2004, at 5:28:50
Wow! See, I've got a problem talking to my doctor about medication options, but that's only because he doesn't listen to me all that well -- I can't imagine how awful it would be if we were also speaking different languages! Don't you go doing anything permanent -- we need you here for inspiration! If you can muddle through with the deck so stacked against you, we should surely be able to soldier on, too.
Aside from that, what you're describing sounds a LOT like something that I experienced with a trial of Remeron -- which only lasted eight days, but nearly landed me on an involutary psychiatric hold even in that short a period. I was so irritable, so agitated, so actively suicidal and hostile, and the end came when my husband came up to try to comfort me and I told him to stay waaaayyyy back from arm's reach, because I couldn't promise I wouldn't lash out at him physically. I guess also told him I was afraid of hurting him or one of the cats, because I felt so out of control. ("Out of control" was the dominant quality of my experience on Remeron, by the way. OOC eating, hostility, anger, RAGE, etc. Thank goodness I still had the good sense to call the doctor's office to ask if this would pass -- true to form, there was no answer to that question, just a flat, "If you don't like it, stop taking it" with the implication that *I* was at fault for the failure of one more medication. But we do speak the same language. That's gonna be my new motto.) When I saw him at my next visit, he said he'd heard other patients say the same thing about Remeron -- somehow he didn't mention that part when he was reading me the list of side effects on the Informed Consent sheet, guess only the Official Side Effects (which he claimed he'd never heard about from his own patients) really count.
As for you, may I ask what language you're trying to communicate with the doctor in? Maybe someone here will know it well enough to offer some suggestions to help you communicate better. Another idea is to try to find another doctor who does speak -- well, I'm guessing you speak English -- your language, or at least provide a *good* interpreter? Or can you bring someone you trust to act as an interpreter for you? (Yeah, I know -- the idea of having anyone listen in on my little visits with Dr EyeCandy is pretty abhorrent to me, but if language is a barrier to effective treatment for you, it might be worth the discomfort of having someone else hear about your distress to break through it.)
I truly hope you find some relief, which this drug doesn't seem to be providing to you. Considering what you've written here, I'd say "stop the drug -- and then make a new appointment ASAP" That's not medical advice, only common sense -- if this sort of overwhelming distress started when you started this drug, and it's getting worse, and it's getting to the point that you feel you may become a danger to yourself and/or others -- well, that's about the point my husband finally pressured me to stop the Remeron and I wish now that I'd listened to him earlier.
And listen -- no matter how alone you feel in your distress, no matter how much you feel as if no one can empathize with you because your situation is so uniquely difficult, there are people here who have similarly and uniquely difficult situations. Many of us have tried multiple drugs over the years, and many of us have experienced doctors who are difficult to deal with. Even if we can't help you directly, this is a good place to come for support and just to be in a community that can understand better than a lot of the rest of the world. This med board isn't the only place on this site: check out the Social board, if you haven't already, because it's a great place to go and say, "WWWAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Why do I even keep trying?" and get a dozen answers back telling you what has kept others trying despite similarly awful experiences. There may not be a solution here for you, but there is caring and understanding and support. I hope you'll come back and visit here again.
Best luck.
poster:Racer
thread:362940
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040704/msgs/363059.html