Posted by LynneDa on June 14, 2004, at 9:51:43
In reply to Re: New Lex user, posted by nicko on June 13, 2004, at 0:49:05
Hi Nicko -
I'm just catching up on all the weekend's postings. Lots went on! Congratulations to you on coming out! I have several gay friends and most of their parents were more understanding than they could have imagined. I'm glad yours fell in that category.You have been under a lot of stress! Maybe the time is not right for you to try meds if they make you too anxious. The natural stuff can be helpful too. Look on the alternative babble part of the site for guidance in that area. It took me a year of trying meds, trying natural alternatives then deciding I was ready to try meds again. I'm pretty happy now, but it took some time. You'll get there :-).
Keep in touch and let us know your progress!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Thank you Mrs, C and everyone else,
> Yes i still read some of the posts and I'm really glad and thankful for everyone's help, it has meant alot to me.
> But yes i had decided to get off the drugs, i wont be taking them anymore, i decided enough was enough and i am now on the road to facing my demons.
>
> Firstly after 30 years i finally came out and told my parents i was gay, WOW big one.lol, see one of the reasons my anxiety started was because i got sick a while back, and i thought i had a dreaded disease, HIV or similar, let me tell you that week of wait nearly killed and because no one knew about me being gay! i couldn't share my fears or concerns with anyone, all my results came back negative thank god but i was then told it isn't conclusive for 13 weeks and that i would need to be retested, so for 12 long weeks i worried, panicked, cried and put on a brave face infront of everyone, cause no one knew, but i started thinking negatively, im gonna die, i felt ashamed of myself and guilty. Well i got my results back again and all were negative again YAY but for some reason i couldn't let it go, what if its wrong, what if they made a mistake etc. I guess because thinking i was going to be positive for 13 weeks.
> So i had a deep and meaningful with my mum, i thought it was about time, i even told her about the months of worry and fear i felt!, she basically cried, more at the fact that i went through all that alone, she wasn't upset i was gay, she even made a joke and said GOOD i didn't want any more grandchildren.LOL Its weird to think after all these years of worrying, omg what if my parents find out, what if i see someone i know while im out with my parents etc, what if they hate me, what if it sickens then.
>
> So i have finally after all these years accepted i am what i am, i use to hate myself, i use to cry and say i don't want to be gay, but the truth is no one choses this, its just the way you are born or something, ive always known.
> I just cant explain the weight off my shoulders, It feels good.
> I know i have a long way to go, but i will get there, I might try some natural stuff and see how it goes, maybe St johns wort, But i feel most of the pain and suffering had a reason, it has been a tough year and i want to stop living this lie and see what happens, if after a few weeks or months i don't start to feel better, I'll go back to the dr for meds.
>
> I'm so glad i found you guys, you have helped me more then you know, giving you all a cyber HUG, would it be ok if i stay in touch?
>
>
>
poster:LynneDa
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040614/msgs/356536.html