Posted by soraheart on June 1, 2004, at 22:03:53
In reply to Re: please be civil » Soraheart, posted by Dr. Bob on May 31, 2004, at 13:41:59
Aye, let me tell you, when I read all the replied posts, I felt very much assured that I could kill the beasht, if not, suppress it enough to live happily, or if not happily, atleast contently.
I wish though that you would not feel sorry for me, well I mean, don't let it affect you in anyway but good ways. I may get terribly low sometimes, and the other night I spilled many a thought and feeling into a post, but really that was one of my worse nights, not the worst, definately not the best. But I am very nervous and afraid for those who read my story and are saddened by it. I know I'm gonna live, and without medicines, and without a therapist.
(by the way, I do have a therapist, been seeing him for about a year, but our conversations dwindle nowadays, and turn into trifle things, and wasting $100 of my parents' money a week. Well, he helps to talk to, but....don't know if 100 is worth it. But yeah he is a valuable "friend.")
I've been thinking about coming clean for a while, but to tell you the truth, it scares the white out of my eyes to think of what I'll have to endure with the withdrawal. But I say I want to stay in a room for however long it takes and detox myself. No detox clinic, no take-me-down medicines, no, just cold turkey. Aye, it will be horrible, and my brother (who is a psychiatrist) has informed me that stopping xanax cold could kill you, give you seizures and everything (well they never explained that to me before), so first, I'd have to consult my physician friends about quitting before I do, obviously.
My family is a good family, lets not have any fights over that, but yeah, their spectrum of life and its beauties is skewed, and to say "skewed" is to say "incredibly limited to the mundane, with some spiritual departures and journies."
Thank you for your prayers, I'll have to think about those tonight when I go running, and when I have my own prayers to say. I don't think God is out to get me at all, but when I do do something wrong, He likes to get me back somehow. So I figure, stop doing the wrong thing, start doing the right. And no, the problems that appear due to reprecussions are not things you can foresee, and definately not things you'd like to deal with. That's my belief on the whole thing. Otherwise, God wants me to be me, but he doesn't want to see me grind myself into a hole again. Of course, no one is perfect, esp. me, but small mistakes are very.....small.....in the long run.
So thank you for your prayers, I am more than grateful.
Some thoughts
1. Don't deny help, ever.
2. Don't lie about anything, especially don't lie to yourself.
3. Question anything you want to question.
4. Settle for *your* personal best, not someone else's.
5. Don't think too much, but don't act like a grade-A moron (don't act rashly).
6. Be mindful of other people, always. Be careful of other people, always. Be humble of other people, always. Be yourself, always. Change when needed.
7. Accept change. It's crazy huh? Well...
8. Don't let *anything* become an addiction. But, don't let not letting anything become an addiction become an addiction either....keep that one in mind.
9. Just don't be mean, and try not to swear.
10. Love yourself cause you're a ducky lad or lass, and you're better than you think.
11. Don't be hateful.
12. Don't be a stupid, one-sided, close-minded individual. There is no one on earth who doesn't hate that. Even stupid, one-sided, close-minded individuals.
13. Be an individual! Plus some other individuals, become multiples!
14. Remember we're all God's babies.
15. Don't read long lists about self-help crap thinking that the momentary elation means you've found the right answers. Maybe you have, maybe you've haven't, but you've just got to try. You have to find your own way, even if it means you are doing something similar to someone else. Find your own reasons to be happy, and don't wallow in sorrow, and don't revel in joy too much, just live.
16. Don't take my word for anything, except what I just said.
17. You could be a scholar too.
18. Play video games.
Anyways, there it is. Oh yeah.
19. exercise, anyway you can, as much as you can, DO IT! it is the "drug" of choice, really.
and I guess I'll put a #20 here.
#20. Ninja Turtles, I like.
Oh yes, Doctor Bob, I apologize for the expletives. I didn't quite appreciate the quoting of myself in your post, made me feel kind of stupid, but I know what you mean. I don't want anyone to be offended, so I'll keep that in mind in the future. Sorry about it, but I already swore and wrote those things, but I won't anymore. We're all happy mateys.
Don't give up on anything, especially depression. It can rule you, or you can rule yourself, its your choice. If you need people to help you be strong, let them help you. But always know that at some point, you will be alone, and you've got to push harder than you have before, put everything into it, come out on the other side. But really, you're not alone, right? Cause you've got guardian angels and saints, and God and Jesus around you and in you all the time. Be happy about that. If you aren't a Christian, realize your own religious truths. I'd be glad to help out some other people. Thanks for your help, your replies and everything, but now take care of yourself.Don't worry about me, worry about you.
poster:soraheart
thread:352054
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040527/msgs/352868.html