Posted by kittencat on May 10, 2004, at 18:28:05
In reply to Re: Please help me understand schizophrenia/ Abili » jubei, posted by judy1 on May 10, 2004, at 16:17:28
> I don't often read this board so I'm unfamiliar with your history. Your outlook is very similar to mine- if you don't mind can you write about what turned you into (like me) a 'psychiatric survivor'?
> take care, judyJudy...you're awfully sweet. I have always had crushing, paralyzing depression, with suicide attempts & lots of isolation. About 15 years ago, I was precribed Prozac, & it changed my life. People around me marveled at the change. I really felt "alive", positive, & not so afraid of people. It wore off, or wasn't enough, though...two years after that I checked myself into an eating disorder treatment at a big hospital, & boy, did they love to prescribe drugs. Everyone got drugs...within one year I was on Lithium, Pamelor, Paxil, Zoloft, and Effexor (all at different times). Still suicidal, still miserable...the years went by, after seven years off all drugs, decided to give 'em a go again...got Prozac first, & it worked GREAT...but after about 3 months it just stops. Since then, my doctor has put me on Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Celexa, Serzone, BusPar, Effexor, Zyprexa, & now the Abilify. Nothing has ever helped but the Prozac...I never took the Zyprexa, & now I think I am going to throw out the Abilify. It's just that everyone has said how it is so energizing & motivating...that is one of my biggest problems. I am so tired all the time & cannot seem to get myself to take action- I spend day after day at home in bed or on the couch, & the years are slipping by, fast. There always needs to be some sort of major emergency to get me to take action. The fact that I've always done so well on Prozac makes me feel that an ssri is the right route for me, not an anti-psychotic. I do feel crazy & do crazy things, but I can't help but wonder if it's a craziness I have created by locking myself into a tiny apartment day after day. At this point I am terrified of people & can barely handle looking the cashier in the eye at the grocery store.
Don't know how enlightening that was...I started posting a few weeks ago if you wanted to go back & look at old threads...you are sweet to show interest...how are things going for you??
poster:kittencat
thread:345262
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040510/msgs/345516.html