Posted by bark2323 on March 7, 2004, at 12:41:19
Ok, I have some questions. First of all, I want to hear any opinions on whether Im actually BP2 or not. That has been my diagnosis by a # of docs, including the one Im seeing now, which I have agreed with in the past, but now I am not sure. The main reason Im not sure is because Ive been rapid cycling for about the past month, mainly hypomania, so my doc wants to try to switch medicines so I have gone off my mood stabilizer (trileptal) to see if it is actually useful at all anymore before making a med change. But I have been normal throughout this time off (although to be fair I was entering 'normal' a few days before I started to go off). My anger may be higher than normal, but thats about it. Shouldnt I be cycling more now without it, assuming this is not just the natural next phase I would be in? I am also on 4mg klonopin and 100mg seroquel (and provilgil, but thats irrelevant to what Im getting at), which I know are sometimes used as adjuncts, but they have only ever been useful for anxiety and sleep, respectively, so I dont think they would all of the sudden become stabilizing now. I know I have recurrent depressions. My hypomanias, if thats what they are, consist of high energy, uninhibited/innapropriate behavior and socializing (when not in this state, I am if anything socially phobic), sometimes anger, constant need to be productive and incredible speed in doing so, spending, inability to relax (or even want to), feeling mildly euphoric, and distractability. I know this descriptions is one of a hypomanic person, but I want another explanation, and I cant find one. I guess I know the diagnosis fits me, but right now I cant seem to actually stick to that. I also have a lot of other supposedly bipolar-type traits such as in the way I respnd to antidepressants, sleeping patterns, etc. I guesss what I need is someone to say something (preferably from personal experience, Ive pretty much read every book, abstract, article (when its free), etc) that can help me to either rule every other possibility out or else give me reasons to question the diagnosis. It would also be great if I could just hear personal stories from people who have been through this thought process and what they have found out after going through it. And any alternative explanations, no matter how outlandish are also welcome. I know you are probably wondering why I dont see the obvious answer in what I have typed, and in a way I do see it, but in the back of my mind I just dont believe it. Maybe this is because I have not been truly depressed in over a year and I like the flip-side which has dominated the past month or two, although sometime irritability can be out of control and of course that is not fun. I know while 'up' insight is impaired, but could my insight be impaired while euthymic simply because I have dropped the mood stabilizer? I guess what I need is something to just accept this is part of me (although up until now I have accepted it for a # of years) or not, since my doc just pretty much does whatever I say. Its not that hes bad, he just trusts me and is open to what I have to say, but maybe a bit too much. I am sorry for the length and confusion in this, but I am confused/conflicted myself right now. I know (well I assume) yall are not doctors, so dont worry about that sort of thing; I can hear or read what a adr has to say anytime. Thanks to anyone who has actually taken the time to read this whole thing, and to those who respond.
matt
poster:bark2323
thread:321606
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040304/msgs/321606.html