Posted by brussell on December 19, 2003, at 12:33:54
In reply to Re: Warning, Long Post (With longer post), posted by Siraris on December 19, 2003, at 3:21:45
Hello,
I'm very sorry about your problem. I'd like to offer a couple of ideas.
I started to develop severe depression and anxiety (exacerbated by a personality disorder) during my first year at the University of Chicago. I didn't have a clue what was happening to me, and like you, simply thought I wasn't sufficiently motivated.
My cognitive abilities eroded shockingly over the next two and a half years (I was misdiagnosed at the counseling center, and received a bad referral that basically made me worse).
By the time I dropped out, I couldn't retain or understand any verbal information, and mathematical or CS notation looked like gibberish.
At this point (seven years later) I think I can identify three factors that let to my cognitive decline:
1. Severe untreated anxiety (which shuts down one's ability to think clearly)
2. Severe untreated depression.
3. Hating school, but being unable to admit it. I was so disappointed with college that I lost all my spirit and motivation. The fact that I kept forcing myself to do the work couldn't make up for the fact that my cognitive functions had largely gone on strike.
In your case, it's possible that the medications you are taking are causing cognitive problems. You could try going off them to see if you do better.I think that it is more likely that you have a problem with one of the following that is NOT being adequately treated by your medication.
1. Depression (it's possible the Paxil is no longer working--SSRIs can poop-out after several years of use--I'd try something different.)
2. ADHD (I think this is a viable possibility--you might want to try stimulants or a stimulating AD like Welbutrin.
3. You might need a break from your career path. Therapy might help you get your focus back and feel more in control of your life.
Best Wishes from a fellow former excessively-high achiever.P.S.--I'm still suffering from severe depression, but I did finally get my brain back.
poster:brussell
thread:291198
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031219/msgs/291624.html