Posted by maryhelen on October 27, 2003, at 6:54:23
Hi everyone:
I read these boards fairly regularily, however, I do not usually post.
As usual, I am always thankful at how well researched everyone is, as I cheat and don't do it myself. Most of that is because I seem to get everywhere but where I need to be when I want to know something, or it is all pharmaceutical advertising. Fairly computer illiterate. Truly stunned at the brilliant writing sytles, humour, wit, caring, kindness, and I don't even feel at all capable of expressing myself as such.
Having said all that ..... I am truly at the end of my rope. For 25 years, I won't go into all of the hospitalizations, substance abuse programs, ECT... ect. The multitude of drug combos, as most of have experienced.
The difference being for me right now is that I have returned to work after a 2 1/2 year sick leave and I am totally stressed out and overwhelmed. I have held the same job for 30 years, but it may as well be a new one, with all of the new and everchanging computer programs. However, I do not think that this stress has caused this latest, bleak, suicidal depression. Over the years, being off work, when I went through these difficult times the difference would be that I could ride it out, literally in bed.
I will not carry on but get to my question.
I was taking Parnate for 2 1/2 years. I can't say that I was on top of the world, but I guess I got by. Last March, when many difficult things were happening in my life, my pdoc augmented it with Lamitcal. I had about 3 weeks, very quickly, of feeling the best 'normal' that I had ever felt in my 51 years, it was almost scary. As I say this response only lasted about 3 weeks. I have upped the dose, now just started 400 mg. By the way, went off the Parnate about 2 months ago. Realized over the years that my hair was thinning, I was getting bald spots, and in the last months of taking it, my hair was falling out in handfuls. I could find no other reason, other than the Parnate.
Doc just added Celexa, been on it three other times and do not want to continue.
I am going to start Nardil on Saturday. Have heard such positive things about it here. I am so reluctant to go off the Lamitcal, in case it many blessidly kick in again. Doc checked. It doesn't contradict.
Questions are: Nardil, Lamitcal .... I don't know what to do. What dose can you start with on the Nardil. How fast can you up it.
I am truly desperate. Have to go to work in 15 minutes after being away last week. This should be good. Principal not too happy, I am sure. Panicked. Scared. Tired of the med changes, washouts, the waiting.....
Also, I am heavily addicted to pain medications. Percs, tylenol 3's, anything that takes away the depression, and they do. Taking too many lately when I can get them, and then have the inevitable crash. Cannot take any benzos, any sleep meds as such, because of my addiction. Have insomnia and I am in constant pyhsical pain for varying reasons.
Please help. I am not going to read this over. Just send it. It is probably incoherent, babbling, too long, scattered, wish there was spell check.
Thanks for listening.
maryhelen
poster:maryhelen
thread:273837
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031025/msgs/273837.html