Posted by Still Hurting on October 13, 2003, at 8:22:04
Well people, I've have had my ex-counselor's home telephone number for some time and I finally did it. I finally called her. At first I called and didn't say anything. She kept saying hello, until I finally hanged up. Then I called right back. Oh wow. All she wanted to know was how I got her number and then she told me that she was hanging up on me. She asked me why I was calling her. So I told her that if I called her at her job then I'm in trouble because they put a restraining order against me on her job so I decided to call her at home. I told her I needed her help to put closure to our therapistic relationship. See, i've been to everyone to put closure to this drama. I've talked about it to so many people that even they have gotten sick about it. I don't know what to do. I go out and I'm hoping that I bump into her. I do on dates and wish that I was there with her instead of them. I don't know what to do. My current therapist is tired of hearing about the situation. But seemingly I can't put an end to this. It is like I took a knife and opened my soul up to this woman. And she just walked straight on it without no regarded to my emotions. When she terminated me as a client, i felt like she had raped me and left me for dead. And I'm supposed to pick up all the pieces and go on with my life. I don't know how. It's like her name has just rented space in my cerebel cortex. I know this is bad. But in my down, lonely, and emotional periods, my heart seems to always want her to comfort me as she did in our therapeutic sessions. Can sometimes therapy not be helpful to some people. Like me who was emotionally and mentally vulnerable to love. So when I found what looked like love, I killed it to death, and now its seems to be killing me. Later, today I will find out if there's a warrant for my arrest. As a professional I'm embarrassed if there is; but somehow, I feel as if her agency should have been more careful when they cut the open strings from her and I.
poster:Still Hurting
thread:268903
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031010/msgs/268903.html