Posted by vandy on October 11, 2003, at 12:03:33
In reply to Crossing my fingers!!, posted by Peter on October 9, 2003, at 19:38:45
For me the light went on after 84 days. That doesn't mean I saw no positive effects from the gradual build of Lex in my system. I did have days where the clouds disapated a bit and then settled back in over me. That happens. Like as in "stuff" happens! I started with 20 mg and that always has been the dose I've taken. In hindsite, I wish it was like a commercial: total gratification in 30 seconds. But real life doesn't work that way, no matter what the politicians promise. It took 12 weeks to feel as I do now. Now that it's over I didn't mind the wait. While it was happening....well, that's a different story. I could have easily given up I guess. Three months is a long wait unless you're pregnant. I guess that last three months is a pisser for pregnant women, too. But I would have gotten three months older anyway and I sure would have traded three months of my life to lift that awful cloud bank.
DON'T GIVE UP! I WILL BE WORTH THE WAIT, THE S.E's AND EVERYTHING ELSE.
I'm rooting for you and everyone else who climbs this slippery slope.
ONE WORD OF ADVICE HOWEVER: Don't cross your fingers because it makes it almost impossible to pick up those little pills with your fingers crossed.> I posted a new thread yesterday in the general area, and then realized it would be good to also post within the ongoing lex thread.
> Here's the deal:
> Day 34 total lexapro, day 28 on 10mg (I started with 5mg the first 6 days). Everytime I thought it was beginning to kick-in, I'd feel like crap again. I've taken every other SSRI, with varying degrees of success, and also a plethora of other meds and med combos over the last 8 years. I spoke with my pdoc yesterday about the fact that I felt really bad all the time, unable to wake up, sleeping thru my alarm, irrtable and depressed all day, unresponsive to anything or anyone around me, numb and dull, etc. He said that it seemed as if I wasn't responding well to the lex - that it was both activating me (thus the irritability) and 'flattening' my mood (thus the continued depression and apathy). He suggested that I begin to taper the med and that we move toward my trying a med from the only class I haven't yet tried - the MAOIS. I've been considering them for years, and I'm probably a good candidate considering my history. But I am so sick of going from one med cocktail to the next; also, I've come this far already on the lex (and it hasn't been easy), and I've read so much about people feeling NOTHING on 10mg until week 7, 8, or even 9, and then it kicks in and it's well worth the wait. I just don't want to stop prematurely. So I made a resolution last night that I would stick with it another week or two instead of tapering it right now. I also decided that I would put a little more effort in to increase the chances of my responding well to the lex. What I mean by this is the following: I find that a lot of my lack of response has had to do with my
> not 'allowing' the lex to work, so to speak; it's almost as if I've been thinking so pessimistically about the med and SSRI's in general, that I've been psychosomatically hindering its benefits. Today, I felt that my acceptance and resolution to stick with the lex and do what I can do -
> both physically (getting my sleep/wake cycles back on track, exercising) and mentally (not letting my pessimism get the best of me) - seemed to help me benefit more from
> the lex; I just have a feeling that it might be beginning to work (fingers crossed). I awoke with more energy today, and felt better in the afternoon than I have in a long time. Of course, it's not all about my shift in attitude and resolve; the action of the lex itself is helping me to HAVE a more positive, optimistic outlook on my responding well to it. So it might very well be that my own efforts +the therapeutic actions of the lex are beginning to work together to my benefit. I hope this makes sense. Does it? Cause I sort of feel like I'm not making any sense at all! Regardless, I hope my better mood today is the lex kicking in and not just another 'false alarm'! I really would prefer to not go on another 'med-roller-coaster' at this point. And my doc agreed that I stick with the lex another week or two, saying that my more positive outlook and decision to 'allow' the med to work will make me all the more liable to respond well to it. So, of course a positive response to the lex would be mostly due to the pharmacological actions of the drug and the balancing out of the NT's in my brain, but in my case it looks like some of it has to do with my cooperating with the process and doing what I can to allow it to work . All right, now I think I'm just further convoluting what was already pretty convoluted in the first place. Sorry! Is there any sense in what I'm saying?
> thanks,
> Peter
>
poster:vandy
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031010/msgs/268345.html