Posted by trucker on August 16, 2003, at 20:52:17
In reply to Re: Doug in PA » jrbecker, posted by Doug in PA on August 10, 2003, at 13:56:48
> Oh I know there is more going on here, but I just cant seem to get on top of it. I was divorced 22 years ago at age 40. Except for 4 fine ladies in all that time, I have come home to an empty house and slept alone about 7 thousand nights. I have eaten 22,000 meals alone in the last 20 years. This is the main thing going on...lonelyness to the point where it becomes a physical pain. I am well educated and have been told that I am (moderately) attractive and look nowhere near my age. I have joined many clubs and organizations in order to socialize but to little avail. Everyone thinks that I am a happy go lucky guy and they never guess that I am totally down in the dumps. Never seem to meet the right woman. Those interesting ones I do meet are either married or 30+ years my junior. Being diagnosed with coranary artery desease and a totally clogged right artery 6 years ago was the "coup de gras" for me being optimistic. This post is one of the few times that I have opened up.
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doug, don't let me scare you from opening up. pray for ms right to enter your life. my life!
trust me when i say "life" is a dirty four letter word. however tonight when you go to bed tell yourself tomorrow is going to be a better day. tell yourself that over and over day after day. possitive thought does wonders. eventually your sole will hear you and change. then go out shopping and make your self look good. go to a beach, park, laundrymat, some where there is people. try making friends. it will get better if you quit telling yourself negitive things.
take that from some one who has been there and keeps getting kicked while down.
see i was raped (by older family member) at three years old, (mommy) beat me for i brought it on my self 'cause mind you i should have dressed myself. this occured all my childhood. (beautiful ah) then i married an abusive husband who damn near killed me. then i became a trucker, so i could house, clothe, feed myself, and i am crippled and was told i'd never walk again, (i am currently 20 % whole person disabled) i drug left leg for a year and a half. i now drive again. i had gotten off road to begin a family and was seven to term in months pregnant and went into labor and by the time i got to the hospital no heart beat. my only child. so then i had to go back to driving truck which i never wanted to do again. i wanted to be a mother. and was robbed!!! see what i am getting at is life hands ya alot of crap, i came back from it, by the grace of GOD, there are also nice females at church to meet. get closer to the creator because when you try it solo, you can't do it. only with HIS help. there is a love and companionship when you address your creator on a regular basis.take care, and i a m sorry if i was hard on you. but please, if i can come back from everything including my dead baby boy, is your problem that much stoughter?
poster:trucker
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030812/msgs/251433.html