Posted by katia on August 4, 2003, at 0:47:45
In reply to Re: Thanks Katy, Katia » katia, posted by Barbara Cat on August 2, 2003, at 1:55:18
HI Barb,
My mood has been in exact opposite of yours. My mood has definitely turned for the better! I'm so excited about it. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm meditating again and that I leave my window open at night. I wake up feeling so good b/c of the fresh breezes. it's been over a year since I've been med free. and my body is starting to adjust very well. I think that taking those ADs for the past year made me worse. I've been w/o any meds for about three weeks now. the first two were hard, but now I"m starting to feel "brighter". like the song - things are going to get brighter. It feels amazing .. I'm so happy that I've finally risen out of darkness.Anyway, i wanted to bring up an issue and maybe this is reserved for a "social" issue and if it is will you please follow it with me? that's what i hate about being re-directed, i"m never sure if people will follow it or not.
anyway - it's this. I know it's totally ridiculous and typical and he's probably gay - nothing wrong with this at all and which is great for gay men, but not so good for me, but I don't know what to do with this. I have a crush on my psychiatrist. Yes, I do. I feel ridiculous. I can't help it. he's a bit older, very educated, funny (with sense of humor), and intelligent and able to converse on an emotional level and why not????? Really?!
Anyway I've thought about not posting this. I'm still waiting for the depakote in the mail. I honestly am thinking that I need to give it a try with no meds. I am starting to feel normal and I can focus and I feel happy to be alive. And I don't want to call this hypomanic. I want to keep this feeling. Can't I just be exuberant and joyful to be alive without being labeled? really. I need to know what is going on with me without meds. I'm not sure if I'll take the depakote when it comes in the mail.
anyway,
how are you?
will you follow this thread if it goes to social babble?
Katia
poster:katia
thread:9730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030802/msgs/247925.html