Posted by jay on June 13, 2003, at 8:59:56
In reply to Re: I *really*, posted by justyourlaugh on June 12, 2003, at 23:00:14
> jay,,
> i always took that rage and anger against myself...
> seoquel was quite numming for me but really helped when i took a dose(100 or 150) when needed or for sleep.
> lorazapam has been working for me...though i take enough to stop pretty much everything...no rage,depression,thought.....
> sorry you are having such a bad time :(
> please post soon jay
> sHi JYL..thanx..it's nice to hear from you. I've noticed I have taken out my problems on mymself too..with a tab bit of self injury, but a *LOT* of neglect! Because I felt (feel) there was/is not much to live for, I did things like avoid most physicals from doctor since 1997...I've been locked in my room since 1997! heh. Neglect..major, major neglect...plus I was really screwed by our mental health system..when I got not one, two, but three refferals to Mood Disorders Clinic..and the people there *lost* every single one! (My doc's secretary has the copies time stamped when she sent them in..the first one in December of last year! So..the **** with the 'Mood Disorders Clinic'...supposed to be only three month waiting list...and NOW they tell me 6 months latter thery haven't gotten my referals! No wonder I am so infuriated!!) So..I wrote them a letter and told them if I showed up in a body bag if they would give me service. Haven't heard back from them..as usual.
On meds, I am looking at Seroquel, plus maybe a PRN small dose of a typical antipsychotic. This is really situation critical...I've never felt at such the end of my rope as I have now in 12+ years. So, now my turn to get my power-house meds. I've even started bruising myself badly..and man I don't want that to turn into further self injury..as it could. Plus..well I told you I know my one simple easy way out...and that scares the hell out of me. It wouldn't be some half-hearted attempt or whatever...just one quick action, and it's over with. No notes..no nothing. I can hold off on it...but it's creeping up too close. It's time to bring out the 'big guns' and slay this beast, or atleast wound it.
Thanks as always..and I hope you are feeling better..
SIncerely,
Jay
poster:jay
thread:233570
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030609/msgs/233646.html