Posted by indivmed on June 9, 2003, at 15:33:11
In reply to Nardil with Wellbutrin, sorry so long, first posti, posted by shrimp on June 8, 2003, at 18:35:43
Oh, I forgot to mention that I also have experienced the life-altering change of a total decent into madness. While in high school, I was 2nd in my class, a state champion in swimming, and totally on the ball. This continued into my 1st year of college, but in the fall of my 2nd year, I went into the most horrendous depression I have ever experienced (I was literally in bed for weeks at a time--I should have been hospitalized).
Since then, I have watched my emotional life cycle out of control--no confidence in my abilities, I now have this body dysmorphic thing going, I am OCD as hell when it comes to my mistakes and my failures, I can attain *some* success only to lose it because of another f***ing depression cycle--my professors and boss got/get tired of hearing it. Not to mention my hypomanias that make me act belligerent and obnoxious.
Of course, changing meds because they don't work only makes it all seem more hopeless and insane. I don't know...this Parnate/Wellbutrin combo seems to be working well, but then again, so did 90% of the other meds I used--only for them to stop working or lose their effectiveness after a few months (you name it, I've been on it--anti-convulsants, anti-depressants, stimulants, hypnotics, benzos, anti-psychotics, TCAs)--the MAOI was really the last straw besides ECT.
Sorry for the depressing outlook, but I totally hear you when you talk about the contrast between who you were and who you are now. It is unbelievable living with a mental illness. Some people have no idea of what we go through...thank god my partner is patient and knows how to deal with me and my moods.
Have a good day :)
Rick
poster:indivmed
thread:232463
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030609/msgs/232666.html