Posted by blah on March 23, 2003, at 14:09:37
In reply to Re: Just tired, posted by Questionmark on March 10, 2003, at 23:18:58
Well I went to the hospital for about a week and a half. They tryed two more antipsychotics on me(geodon-seroquil), and like zyprexa they increased my depression and anxiety, killed my concentration, made me more suseptable to pain, and put me in a plastic fog. My "specialist pdoc" has an unwavering faith in them but i told him no more. It's obvious these drugs won't work, and are counter productive. I'm on a low dose of lamictal now but it so far does nothing. I met a girl in the hospital, it was forbiden love, we weren't alowed to touch. I left when she got out, and we spent the night together. She said she loved me, and that she couldn't belive she wasn't alone anymore, but its been three days and she still hasn't called me back. I called twice on the day after to invite her out and then once today. I don't think i'll call again, and i dought she will ever call me back. Despite her happieness and insecurity I guess my insecurity was still too scary. I don't want to go back to the hospital, that authoritarian atmosphere was getting me down anyway. But there is no where for me to go. I can't do anything anymore, my only goal seems to be get through the day, and i don't know how long i can keep that up. Survival doesn't seem realistic anymore. Even sleep is frightning. Soon I may be left with the only choice left for me to make. It just hurts so much, and i don't have the strength to fight anymore. I don't know what to do. I just want it all to stop.
poster:blah
thread:81414
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030319/msgs/211812.html