Posted by ricardo on February 19, 2003, at 9:08:48
In reply to Re: sexual compulsives, posted by seemsnormal on February 18, 2003, at 15:10:32
Hi
I felt like saying something, but I'm not sure I can... Only, maybe, that I've been there and I do understand the feeling of guilt you may have because of what you did to your boyfriend. I've been there! Only I was lucky enough for my boyfriend not to know about what was going on... I think the most important thing is for you to get rid of the feeling of guilt and, as far as it's possible, to protect your boyfriend's feelings. Don't let him know! I think that should be a first step. After that, I believe that trying to improve your self-esteem is also very important. Based on my own experience, I think that being sexually conpulsive is deeply connected to not liking oneself, and one's body, well enough. Maybe, re-thinking your relationship with your boyfriend is also key to understanding your problem. Do you really love him or are you used to his presence in your life? Aren't you addicted to him, too, in one way or another, rathen than truly in love with him? I wonder how close and interconnected sexual attraction and love really are. I thought that I was totally in love with a boyfriend I'd had for over 10 years. However, I could hardly touch him sexually! I wasn't brave enough to call off the relationship, or to have a "regular" love affair with another guy, but somehow I needed to vent my impulses... I don't know if any of what I've just said could be of any help, but these are things that happened to me and I thought I could share them with you! Basically, be a friend of yourself! Don't judge yourself!
Good luck
Ric
poster:ricardo
thread:201463
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030219/msgs/201803.html