Posted by Ritch on February 19, 2003, at 9:07:18
In reply to Re: Ritch, posted by Rainbowlight on February 19, 2003, at 0:31:34
> "Yes, Interesting. Yes, maybe people are seeing that "clean slate (no rumination) mind as numbness. I would just describe it as "quiet!" LOL! I guess mine was more like looking through rose colored glasses at the world. I wonder what the clinical term for that is. Now the rose colored glasses are off, yuck! Perhaps I was manic of some sort?"
>
> p.s. I was describing the ending of rumination in my head as "quiet", wasn't referring to mania being "quiet".Whoops. OK gotcha!
>
> Anways, my mood cycling seems to be well under control but I tend to obsess alot still. Mostly about extended family. Things my Dad says to me, or sister does to me. Just everyday dysfunctional family stuff that just gets under my skin. I don't know why I let it bother me so much. It's just like a broken record that plays round and round in my head. I figure I am 34, this crap shouldn't bother me anymore, but it does. That's why I like the ZOloft/Remeron because I DIDN'T care about this crap. It was like "Oh Well!" This illness just seems to haunt me day after day. Isn't it tiring to try to live with and figure out?Hmmm. That is a GAD-type "rumination" to me (having to do with the past and future). That's one of my troubles, too. The mental rehearsing of what's *going to be* said (and done) and the replaying of what has been said (and done) *in the past*, that's mostly unnecessary and just wastes your time and makes you feel crumby. An irrational and excessive concern about whether you "got it right" or "will get it right". I think that is what the Remeron knocks down really well (the GAD stuff). Perhaps because it (Remeron) fogs up your head so bad you can't remember anything! Lol! Obviously, if you can't remember what you said and are having trouble thinking about what you are going to say-you aren't going to be obsessing about it much. I was wondering something about this the other day--what if our short term (working) memories *span* an excessive amount of *time*? That it is all an information processing problem between short- term and long-term memory? The meds just short-circuit that process (albeit in a dumb-ass sledgehammer way) and allow you to function?
poster:Ritch
thread:201373
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030219/msgs/201802.html