Posted by kelranji on November 14, 2002, at 23:33:49
In reply to Re: Does anyone hold a career while on meds?? » kelranji, posted by Alan on November 14, 2002, at 15:29:06
> Since you are not responding well to the class of AD's then if you believe ADD is a problem, what is the problem with taking the Adderal or similar....or at lest trying it? "Addictive"? You must mean medically dependent...there is a difference.It's not what "I" think addictive means. It's what my Dr. told me. He will not perscibe the Adderall or any other ADD med, period. If it were up to me to try it, I would. But then what? He is sure my symptoms point to depression and not ADD. Probably because I cry when I talk to him. I am not comfortable discussing my family history with strangers face to face (it's OK here, since I remain anonymous and am not speaking -- writing is much easier for me).
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> The other thing is that the hyperarousal over a period of time can cause one to feel depressed...one frequently drives the other. Do you feel that the anxiety is driving the depression or the other way around?
Excellent point, although I am not sure what you mean by "hyperarousal" exactly. I truly believe the anxiety is driving the depression. In every aspect of my life -- career, kids, personal realtionship, self-deliberation. I don't feel depressed until my percieved inadequacies build up and haunt me. Then the anxiety starts. After the anxiety subsides, the depression starts and I feel completely worthless.I just want to be perfect and I'm not. I know everyone feels this to a certain extent, but it is controlling my life. If I can't do my best, then why do at all? I think, "I'll just sit here and be a vegetable until I really get in trouble and am forced to move". Then comes the panic.... "I'll lose my job; My utlities will be cut-off; I won't have any food in the house; I'm going to be evicted". What a vicious cycle! And I'm expected to hold a career and a functional family life?? HA! I was not raised this way. My family will look down on me. I must work harder....
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> That is why it might be a good idea to at least try the xanax alone or similar benzodiazapine to see if one of them can releive the anxiety which you originally presented with. The after awhile if the depression lifts, there can be a more accurate diagnosis of some kind of anxiety disorder....which can cause problems with focus and attention span if anxiety is distracting you.I haven't even filled the script for the Xanax yet b/c I was scared, but what you mention makes perfect sense. I will fill it tomorrow and try it alone. If it works, my Dr. already told me he is reluctant to refill the script for it b/c of abuse. I'll keep you posted.
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> If "addiction" is you or your doctor's concern, please read the link in my following post - a very important concept in understading 1)if you have a competent doctor - any physician that does not make the distinction mentioned in the article is not fit to treat you 2)it will allay any fears of becoming a supposed "drug addict"!I checked out your link, thanks! The Dr. I am seeing is a Family Practitioner. He did refer me to a pdoc closer to my work. I just don't know what to say when calling to make the appt. Do I mention my self-diagnosis of ADD? Do I bring up the Adderall suggestion? He will probably think I am out for drugs and that I don't really have a problem.
Do I give him my family history and have him assume (once again) that I have genetically inherited depression from my father, only to have another SSRI prescribed? I just know I'll get all tounge tied and start to cry. That will make the whole ordeal worse and make him confident that I am depressed.
Maybe I should just start the Lexapro the FP gave me? I just don't want to feel that feeling agin! Numb, drugged, sleepy, out of it. I can't do it, I just can't.
Thank you again, Alan, for your thorough advice and for your kindness... you have no idea of what your caring means to me.
~Jenn
poster:kelranji
thread:127542
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021108/msgs/127712.html