Posted by kelranji on November 14, 2002, at 9:14:01
In reply to Re: Does anyone hold a career while on meds?? » kelranji, posted by Alan on November 14, 2002, at 8:07:56
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> What is his official diagnosis? Are you confident in it? Many react well/bad to one catagory of medications and need to try other catagories.
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> Do you find very much relief of both of your symptoms if you take the xanax?
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> Alan
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>Alan-
My doc thinks I am predisposed to depression since my father committed suicide when I was very young (3 yrs) and I have gone through a tough time the past 10 years.
I am not confident in his diagnosis. I don't feel depressed all the time. I initially went to him because I started feeling like I was having a heart attack at work. All of a sudden I'd be at my computer and I couldn't breathe, my face got red and hot and my arm went numb. He did a complete physical and I am healthy as a horse.
He wrote it off as panic attacks. He added the depression diagnosis after I told him about my family history and went into my past ten years of tough divorce, family deaths, etc... naturally I started to cry right then and there and BAM! Out flew the scripts for SSRI's. I have not taken the Xanax yet because I am scared.
In my own opinion, I believe that I have ADD. I think the panic attacks are caused by my fear of losing my job due to my inability to complete tasks. The depression meds made it worse. I'd sit at work and be so tired and unmotivated that I'd surf the web all day long and not get a single thing done. I was already behind in my work, now I was buried in it.
My son has ADD and his pediatrician gave him Adderall right away on the first visit. He is now on the honor roll and I am blown away by the quick turn around of his focusing skills.
I brought that up to my Dr. and suggested the possibility that I had ADD as well. All of my life I have been told that I am not working up to my full potential. Many years ago, I dropped out of High School because I was unable to complete the homework and was failing every subject. I went to the community college and aced the equivalency test granting me a full diploma (not GED). I have been let go from many jobs over the years because of my lack of productivity. I have thousands of dollars in non-sufficient funds fees each year because I don't balance my checkbook. Am I just lazy? Or is this Adult ADD?
I told all of this to my Dr. and he frowned upon perscribing ADD medication to me because it is addictive and highly abused, although he did mention that ADD does cause depression.
Sorry about the book I'm writing here... but that's my story. I just want to feel relaxed and confident and happy about every aspect of my life. Is that depression? I guess in the back of my head there are sometimes suicidal thoughts, but when I look at my children and think about what my father did to me... I could never do it.
I just want to be a better, more productive, functioning member of society. I think I would be a much happier person if I could get off my bum and just get the job done without distraction, procrastination or avoidance. It's just really hard for me. And the depression medications make it impossible for me.
That's all...
poster:kelranji
thread:127542
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021108/msgs/127597.html