Posted by Mr Cushing on November 7, 2002, at 11:09:16
Alright, last night was pretty bad. I never did have a full panic attack, but I was on the verge of one from about 8PM till a little after Midnight. I wound up taking .5mg of Clonazepam at 8:30 to try and stop the panic attack, worked sort of. I was alright as long as I just surfed the Web in the dark and didn't have to deal with anybody. I tried to go to sleep about 12:30 after I had taken 50mg of Trazadone. I wouldn't say exactly that my anxiety acted up on this, but I would just lie there in bed having daydreams for another hour or so. It wasn't exactly racing thoughts because I wasn't really worried about anything, it didn't feel like I needed to do anything, my body was really relaxed, but my mind just wouldn't slow down.This morning I talked to my Doctor and she told me to stop taking the Trazadone at night and replace it instead with Clonazepam. Also, she told me to take 125mg of Depakote this morning and another 12 hours later. Do this till Sunday, and then as long as everything is going alright, increase my night time dose to 2 tabs of 125mg of Depakote. This will still be used with my 125mg of Depakote in the morning.
I don't like this for several reasons. First, I don't want to take Clonazepam as often as I have been, and I don't want to "need" to take it as often as I've needed to lately. But, I have a VERY hard time sleeping. My mind pretty much has told my body not to worry about it, sleeping isn't necessary. At the moment, if I have anything less than 6 hours a night I'm completely disoriented and have trouble doing pretty much anything the following day. Not to mention my body hurts like Hell and my eyes feel like they're melting into my skull. Therefore, at the moment, till I get stabilized, I need sleep at any costs even if it means taking Clonazepam every night.
Depakote scares me period. The whole deal with it working through my liver and having to watch my blood. I went and got a baseline taken before I started taking Depakote. After 2 weeks of treatment I went to an MD and got a huge set of tests done on my blood to make sure that everything was alright. The first baseline tests showed that I had a very high cholestrol count and there was waaaaay too much sugar in my system? I'll readily admit to drinking 3 cups of Coffee every morning and then for a while, I was drinking like maybe 6 Cokes a day. So that could possibly count for the high sugar content. For a while I was just dazing off so much that if I did have some caffeine in my system I could be alert for a while till it wore off. I really don't like feeling like a zombie. I used to be a very smart guy, like above average, and I do NOT want to lose that.
Also, the whole liver thingie... I can be a good guy for a little bit, but I mean, I can't just become a teatotaller when it comes to alcohol. I can probably last from now till around Christmas time fairly easily without a drink. But at Christmas a lot of old friends come back home to see their families and whatever old friends are still left around. This is really like almost a reunion of the people that I grew up with. I'll probably go out like 6-7 times with them while they're in Ottawa and I'll probably be drinking a little bit those nights. Also, Christmas time means family reunions. I'm half French-Canadian, half Irish... both sides of my family are VERY festive, if you get what I mean. At least one part of both sides of the family are definitely in the upper tax brackets and they provide a complete open bar. There's more alcohol in these houses during this time of the year than there is in most small clubs. I'll definitely be drinking here. The thing is, will it kill me? Do I have to worry about my liver that much? Does alcohol become lethal on this?
Oh, and to add to my stress today, my MD called me back and wanted me to book an appointment as soon as possible with him. I only had my blood tests done this past Monday. I mean, isn't that a little fast to want to see somebody after getting their blood work done? Wouldn't you expect an MD to be fairly busy? He wants me to see him tommorrow. I'm hoping that there isn't anything really to worry about. Does anybody know what the bad side effects are of having too high of cholestrol or too much sugar in your system?
K, now I finally get to be a little productive today. My father will be going out of town (Myrtle Beach golfing vacation) for 2 weeks. I need to learn how to do the payroll for the Barbershop/Beauty Salon that he owns. This is a fairly big business and he's the only person that knows how to use a computer well. While he's gone, I'm going to have to use Simply Accounting to help his partner on PayDay to provide the employees with their salaries. I guess I finally get to see how well my brain can function on the mediation I'm currently taking.
poster:Mr Cushing
thread:126823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021101/msgs/126823.html