Posted by BarbaraCat on October 24, 2002, at 22:33:53
In reply to Ponder/BarbCat Please Read Re: Lucid Descrip, posted by McPac on October 22, 2002, at 23:34:52
Hi Mike,
I cite my experiences with the caveat that not everyone has these reactions to tapering SSRIs. At least I would hope not. I experienced EXTREME anger the few times I was tapering off Zoloft. My anger and rage were volcanic. I once punched a hole through a wall rather than through my husband's head because I was SO SO SO VERY enraged. It felt like all the years of not feeling very much were stored somewhere and then let out in a whoosh when I removed the brakes. The shit was right back again in spades, as though NOTHING got resolved while on the drug despite years of intense therapy. I was getting in trouble at work because of belaboring a point, needing to be right, and immediately associating every slight back to my crappy childhood and taking everything very, very personally. I'd have vivid flashbacks of situations that would leave me in an absolute fit. I'd go out to my car, drive around and scream until I was hoarse. This was at work, home, alone. It didn't matter, I was one mad woman out to take on the world. Another time I went out in the backyard with a board and demolished half a tree - and I'm a card carrying tree hugger!This happened on three different occassions of stopping Zoloft, so I know it's not a random occurrence. However, I didn't have this experience at all when I stopped Remeron. Interesting, isn't it?
I don't think it's only Zoloft. Prozac, Paxil, Effexor all have similar infamies associated with them. Many of the school shootings, like Columbine and Oregon, were allegedly committed by kids who were on and then suddenly stopped Prozac or similars. There are many web sites that cite suits against these pharm companies because enough evidence is in to implicate at least a smidge of an association betweem violence and SSRIs. Who knows how long it really should take to taper off? Certainly a very long time. I know I went like a snail and still, everytime I hit that skid.
The question is, who does this violence belong to? Is it our own, repressed within us and just now coming up due to our self-imposed lid no longer working? I know that every major meltdown I've had (punching the hole, mangling the tree) were due to long standing big issues that evoke rage in me to this day. But I'm usually able to swallow it and go about my business, but maybe swallowing it is what caused my hypothyroidism and other ills. I personally think that this rage is part of us and we need to look at it and heal it. Maybe what we're feeling while in this raw transmitter-deprived state is very honest, finally real gory stuff without the coating of 'niceness' and 'propriety'. Maybe we're really that spitting mad, but never let the beast out of the cage. But it's only one side of the coin and we're rational compassionate beings as well. We can usually reason with our snarling beast and live with peace in our hearts. So the bottom line is, the rage is reflecting real issues that get magnified without the soothing elixer of serotonin. Once the chemical balance is in sync, the beast gets tamed again. This is a time for LOTS of exercise and going to a isolated place where you can howl and just let it the hell out. The trick is to develop the Witness state, the center pointe, whereby we always remain in the eye of our own storm, watch with wisdom and compassion, and enjoy the show.
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:31636
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021019/msgs/125111.html