Posted by Jerrympls on October 23, 2002, at 21:39:50
In reply to Somewhat of a philosophical question here, posted by iridium on October 22, 2002, at 14:01:05
Your post is very similar to my experiences: I'm 30, male, and have been dealing with depression for 11 years now. I've been on every medication, many combinations, augmentation strategies, off-lable uses, vitamins, SAMe, and ECT. I've thought the exact same thing as you have: "Is there any reason to go on with all these meds that don't work?" Hm....excuse my lack of enthusiasm - but yes - there has to be some reason to go on.
How can I think this while I sit in my apartment after work - dodging phone calls from the few friends I have managed to keep? Why keep taking these meds when they make me fat and destroy my sex life? How can I even think of continuing when music no longer warms my heart......while I watch the "Real World" on MTV and wonder what it would be like to be 22 again and fall in love......
Lonliness keeps me company I guess.
It's hard to make a case for "life" when you're on 10 medications - 9 of which are pure side effect - and you come home from work and sit on your couch and you watch the news. Maybe for a second or two you crack a smile because Will & Grace is obnoxiously funny tonight.
Perhaps you sigh and wish/hope/pray for better times.
And perhaps - just perhaps - for some unknown reason - your mother calls or your best friend from Chicago and unexpectedly - after the stories of office drama and after stories of how your mother's neighbor refuses to return her tupperware - they pause...
....and say - very simply -
"....hold on."
That helps me for another week or so. I also remind myself that I have to see Star Wars Episode III.
Call me crazy.......
poster:Jerrympls
thread:124718
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021019/msgs/124949.html